Nasty, nasty, nasty!

I have always assumed, based on the state of public restrooms, that men have better bathroom hygiene than women.

No, I have not spent much time in public women's rooms...except for the women's room at Blu, a magnificent cocktail lounge atop the Pfister Hotel in downtown Milwaukee. Seriously, the view of the city and Lake Michigan from the 23rd-floor women's room in Blu is amazing. It is worth risking getting caught and scolded by the hostess to see that view. My disclaimer is that I'm not a weirdo who sneaks into women's rooms for fun. But an old girlfriend way back in the day heard about the view, and the first time we visited the lounge she came out of the bathroom raving about the view. So with her standing guard I decided to go see for myself. She was right. Everyone was right. It was great.

Anyway, as a miserable fry cook and all-purpose sucker at CrackRonalds in high school, I often had to clean the bathrooms. And hands down, the women's room was always 3X as dirty as the men's room. I won't disgust you with the details. Also, every woman I've ever dated and my wife has described Third World conditions in public women's rooms. Just this weekend, as Mrs. B and I were out shopping, she had to make a pit stop, and when she came out of the women's room I knew by the grimace on her face that something was wrong. She then described things she had seen and dodged and sidestepped in the bathroom that made me want to put her in one of those Outbreak suits or make her go into one of those chemical decontamination showers before I let her back into our car.

So imagine my surprise when I saw this story last night, that says a recent study found that significantly more women (88%) than men (67%) wash their hands when leaving the can. The story says that two years ago 90% of women and 75% of men washed their hands before exiting the can.

Funniest quote in the article: "Guys need to step up to the sink," said Brian Sansoni, spokesman for the Soap and Detergent Association, which co-sponsors the survey and related education campaigns.

But here's what gets me: This latest study was conducted last month by "observation" of 6,000-plus people in four major cities. I want to know who got paid enough to sit in a public bathroom, count the foot traffic, and watch the sinks? And given the hubbub over Sen. Craig why didn't these bathroom "watchers" get arrested on the job?

Ladies, I owe you an apology. I was wrong about y'all. Your cans - public bathrooms, not your behinds - may be dirtier, but your hands are apparently cleaner. And guys, that whole pee-is-sterile thing only applies to jellyfish stings and snake bites. So if you're on an isolated beach or in the wilderness you're excused from hand-washing. Otherwise, no excuses. Lather up.