There was a time I might have bought that bridge you were offering or that perfect-for-condo-development swampland you were trying to unload. But in recent years the scales have fallen off my eyes and I've gotten smarter.
One thing I did fall for though was Airborne, that fizzy, alleged cold-preventing, immune system-boosting pill sold at drugstores everywhere. A federal court just issued a $23 million class action judgement against the company that makes Airborne, because apparently everything about the pill was baloney. In fact, baloney would have tasted better and probably cured your colds quicker. Turns out that even the scientific trials conducted by the company to prove it's healing claims about Airborne weren't conducted by doctors, scientists, or even skilled lab techs. They were done by two schmucks who knew the pill's creator. After being called out over the cold-curing claims, the company backed off and said the pill was an immune-system booster. Then they backed off a little more and said it was just an herbal supplement.
My first clue should have been that it was developed by a second-grade school teacher. Not that I have anything against elementary teachers. Mrs. B is one. But if this woman's scientific skills were that off the chain then why was she teaching 4+4 instead of working in a lab somewhere developing medicines?
My second clue should have been that she claimed to study "Eastern" herbal treatments in the development of Airborne.
My third clue should have been that my dad, who is a pretty health-conscious guy broke down laughing when I told him I was taking Airborne for a cold back in January, and encouraged me to enjoy my "sugary alka seltzer."
My final clue should have come when South Park clowned on people who take Airborne. If South Park is making fun of what you do, you know you've got problems.
I may as well have drank a Zima to cure my cold. I'd have gotten more fizzy and less bloat from it.
I have to go now. My allergies are bothering me this morning. And I need to find 500 mg of eye of newt.