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Burnett's Urban Etiquette

Tuesday, October 10, 2006

A few rusty pipes to hand out

This has already been a stellar week. So rather than try to explain let's just hand out some pipes:
  • Our first rusty-pipe-up-yours goes to the numbnut on my train this morning who forgot it was 2006 not 1986 and came aboard carrying a boom box on his shoulder blasting Tupac. Now, I like a little Pac as much as the next pretend rebel, but enough already. Buy a set of headphones chowderhead.
  • The second rusty-pipe-up-yours goes to my dog-crap-leavin' neighbor, who I thought had learned his lesson earlier this year when the cops confronted him for letting his dog pinch loaves in front of other peoples' homes and leaving the leavins behind. He and his pit are at it front of my house. Guess I'm gonna have to get photo evidence this time and then leave the "hard" evidence in a burning paper bag on his door step.
  • The second rusty-pipe-up-yours goes to Duane "Dog (the Bounty Hunter)" Chapman, the namesake of the A&E network reality show. I confess I watch the show sometimes, 'cause mullets mesmerize me. Anyway, on tonight's new episode, in a fit of self-righteousness, Chapman yelled at a fugitive to "tell her what you did," in reference to a woman inside the trailer where the fugitive was hiding. Don't get me wrong. The guy jumped bail. The law says he forfeited his freedom. I say lock 'im up. But he hadn't been convicted of anything yet. And there is the whole innocent until proven guilty thing. I'm sure that principle was important to Chapman back in the late '70s shortly before he was convicted for being an accessory to murder (a killing he insists, according to published reports, a companion of his committed) and sentenced to five years in prison.
  • Third, I've been thinking the past few days about the difference in real friends, employees, and opportunists. A real friend has your best interests at heart, regardless. An employee has your best interests at heart maybe because he likes you, but definitely because you pay him. And an opportunist has whatever interests they think you desire at heart, whether those interests are good or bad for you. What made me think of those things was a blog entry my guy Drew referenced about Dallas Cowboys wide receiver Terrell Owens' overdose scare from last week. At his news conference after the pill scandal, Kim Etheridge, Owens' publicist, dismissed what she'd earlier told emergency workers and said Owens wouldn't want to kill himself because he had "25 million reasons" to live. She was talking about his salary. For all the hopeless people out there who have not yet figured out their deadly sadness but know they will never be rich, I give a rusty-pipe-up-yours to Etheridge for suggesting material wealth is enough to make a suicidal person want to live.
  • Finally, a little shameless self-promotion in the form of my latest article. I don't mind constructive critiques - you guys know that. But don't be like the reader who complained to me earlier that the story, which ran on page 1 of the A section, was bad 'cause she felt the subject and his son posed "like rappers" for their photo, thus setting a bad example for young folk. Posed like rappers? Yeah, that's what it was all about.


  • Good post. Hang in there dude!

    By Anonymous scg, at 6:32 AM  

  • Great article. I love that he takes responsibility for his actions and his previous inaction (is that a word, LOL).

    Keep doing your thing.

    By Blogger Angie, at 10:40 AM  

  • Good article--I think he said it best when he said " I was out there trying to save other kids, but I couldn't save my own."

    That, in a nutshell, is the Achilles' heel of American culture.

    Although this experiment called America started as the ultimate way out for people from disparate nations, as we move to become more like the places we've run from we will also find that there are no more ways out. Humanity is going to have to stop, face itself, and solve its fear based problems.

    I like the fact that he is finally taking responsibility, but in a way, your article seems to bless that method of postponed fatherhood. Men running away from familial responsibility for fear of being adult or shame has got to stop if we are to prosper. We have got to find a way to make it as acceptable for men to be fathers as it is for women to be mothers. Sounds silly, right? It does until you think that every man who has ex-wife/ex in-law/ex baby momma drama feels like he gets shafted by the system (child support, alimony, no visitation, etc.) and becomes nothing more than a walking paycheck. Testosterone needs victory and a man who feels beaten by life may be a worse father than the absent one. Losers don't get happy endings in real life and that's what kids get for a dad if he never gets a chance to feel like a man.

    Also, did you notice any irony that his 1st son's name was Devon Devine (R.I.P.)?

    By Anonymous Big Daddy, at 1:54 PM  

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