False advertising

What's up, people?

I hope Monday is treating you well. Mine hasn't started too badly, all things considered.

But I was just taking a little lunch break at my desk and going over some "to do" notes for the afternoon, when I came across a receipt from a little shopping excursion a couple of days ago. It jumped out at me 'cause the store I bought from was next door to a lingerie shop that had some interesting contraptions in the window.

There were the bustiers and the lacy, thongy stuff, and the whips and chains, etc.

What grabbed me the most though was the butt padding. They were moon pie-shaped cushions made to enhance the appearance of the female behind.

Now, for the record, I try to limit my observation of female behinds that are not my wife's behind to the coincidental-came-across-my-line-of-vision-through-no-fault-of-my-own glance.

However, being a man with a pulse, I appreciate shape. Still, I can't help but find butt padding disturbing.

We - and I mean all of us, male and female - have encountered padded bras. Some of you may have used them. And that's OK. Different parts come in different sizes. And that's OK. And sometimes top-side padding is to make a clothing item fit better, rather than deceive a male suitor. And that's OK.

Butt padding, though? That just strikes me as being close to cheating, and I can't explain why. I guess it goes along with guys who stuff socks into their trousers. I don't know any dudes like that, and the main reason is even we (guys) know that what is going on below the belt is what it is, and you take it or leave it.

Granted, I'll never know the trauma of lacking natural butt-shape, because I don't care how mine appears to other folks. But while a padded bra wouldn't have bothered me back in the day when these things mattered more to me, a padded behind would have annoyed me to no end.

Who knows? Maybe I'm just nuts.