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Burnett's Urban Etiquette

Thursday, August 02, 2007

Quick Hits Friday Edition

No different from any other weekday edition, of course. I just couldn't think of a better title.

Anyway, it's just about Friday, and I'm winding down. You don't stay this pretty without sleep.
  • First, Mrs. B is knocking on the door of the second trimester. She had an ultrasound a couple of days ago, and for the first time we were able to hear a heartbeat and actually see more than a blob. James IV was doing somersaults in there. Wild.
  • Second, morning sickness is a sham. The constantly changing food tastes, Bruce Banner/Incredible Hulk-like mood swings, and other assorted ailments are 24-7. Morning doesn't even factor into it. Someone should have warned me. To her credit, Mrs. B has been handling all of this with a sense of humor. I'm the one who is about to go run into oncoming traffic, pulling at my hair, and screaming that Mel Gibson and Martin Lawrence are chasing me.
  • Third, Burnettiquette is taking a road trip next week. I'll blog while I'm away though. And I'm even gonna try to post pictures, for once. I don't do that often. But new habits are hard to get into. Anyway, if any of y'all are in Las Vegas next week and want to say hello, shoot me a message.
  • Fourth, after four weeks of brain-draining work on a lengthy story project I get some lighthearted time Friday afternoon. I'll be sitting with actor Cuba Gooding Jr. for an interview about his life and career and a chat about his current film, Daddy Day Camp. I guess I'm not thrown off by Gooding doing a family-friendly film. He's done plenty of them before. What threw me about this film was that it's directed by Fred Savage. I'm trying to picture the Wonder Years dude yelling "action," and "cut!"
  • Fifth, here's a perfect example of my admitted hypocrisy over finding people guilty before they're convicted: R. Kelly is finally going on trial! Seriously, I can't be the only one who wondered if this day would ever come. I figured he'd get tried about the time they found JFK's second, third, and fourth shooters. All the while though, Kelly has been guilty as sin in my mind, and I've been itching to see the book - a very, very big book - get thrown at this guy. Why? He is alleged to have messed w/teenage girls, children when you take away the window dressing. He is actually charged w/having kiddie porn, because apparently his "alleged" sex acts w/at least one teenage girl were videotaped. Even if he didn't have sex w/a teen (and yes, like everyone else, I assume the dirty dog did it), they should lock him up just for peeing on one of his alleged victims. Yes, that was caught on tape too. And that's just nasty. And he should be locked up for being dumb enough to videotape the act(s). And his attorneys should be slapped for suggesting Kelly's image might have been computer-generated, faked, on those sex/pee tapes. I guess anything's possible. But that's the best defense they could come up with? Maybe the NAACP will reconsider giving this guy (Presumably Good) Image Awards. Sounds like he should get a stream-aiming award instead.
  • Finally, Karma is so cool. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Crime might "earn" you silver or gold. But it could also get you two bits of lead.

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  • 1) Yay!!! Are you going to let us know if it's a James or Jamesette when you find out?

    2) Mrs B sounds like the coolest ever. But if you think it's bad now?... Honey - you better pray real hard there is no post-partum depression! ;)

    3) Enjoy the trip

    4) I love Cuba Gooding Jr!! Link the story, please!

    5) Finally! Hoorah! Can't wait to see what new song he comes out with now? Is it just me, or have you noticed that when he's in the clear his songs are all sexual and horny. But the minute he gets in trouble, he releases a "come to Jesus/I love my momma" song?? Freak (and I mean that literally)!

    By Blogger Balou, at 8:32 AM  

  • Give Mrs. B a break. You have no idea how it feels to have a person growing inside of you. Bad gris-gris!!! : )

    Can't wait to read your interview with C.G. Jr. I have a mini crush on him. : )

    As for Aura - Kelly......just sad on so many levels. : (

    By Blogger Angie, at 9:29 AM  

  • JB

    Long time no read. I'm glad I didn't miss your super-story--I've been out of commission for a minute (buying a house will do that do you).

    1) Quit your whining about Mrs. B. You saw the baby and you're so geeked about being a daddy that anything else should really pale in comparison. This is the exercise in patience you will need to cultivate for the next 40-60 years of your life. Embrace it along with your family. If you must dwell on some negatives and fears (especially during the time you will have on your road trip), think of how much more difficult this would be for you if you had to do this with a woman that you had no intention of spending your life with. That should bring you some happiness when you're going out for Taco Bell at 4 am.

    2) As for Cuba, make sure to ask him if he is going to act as embarassingly silly in this movie as he did in his other family flicks (Snow Dogs, The Singing Temptations, etc.) so I know whether or not to waste my money.

    3) R Kelly is just a man who didn't check ID, plain and simple. The girl was obviously grown up enough--if she has a child or had a quince or bat mitzvah I would argue that she is already considered a grown woman in her culture and R. Kelly's only real misstep was not marrying her first.

    4) Karma is a bitch, ain't it. Hopefully some of these thieving young jits will read this story or see it on TV and think twice before trying to rob any South Florida man. We likes our Desert Eagles down in the bottom, Papi.

    By Anonymous Big Daddy, at 10:14 AM  

  • Eeeeeee!!! Did you not melt when you heard the heart beat? Is that not the most incredible thing EVER?!?!?

    Good luck to Mrs. B on the morning sickness thing. It does get better!

    By Blogger Queen of Dysfunction, at 11:21 AM  

  • Sounds like a really cool interview in the works -along with a neat trip too. If you were heading down to Laughlin, NV I'd tell you to say hello to my ex-husband there. LOL
    By the sounds of things, Mrs. B is handling the pregnancy thing quite well. Keep everyone posted on the progress there and have a safe and fun trip now too!

    By Blogger Jeni, at 12:40 PM  

  • Is Mrs. B going on this Vegas jaunt or does she prefer to confine her nausea to the east coast? As others have already told you, the roller coaster ride of parenthood has barely begun. Just buckle up, secure all loose items, and hold on to the bar in front of you. If you feel brave later you can throw your hands in the air as you go into freefall.

    By Blogger wordsonwater, at 2:21 PM  

  • I'm still mad at Eve for getting women cursed with misery during pregnancy & childbird.

    I would like to interview Gooding. I would like to just sit there and stare at him.

    By Blogger Pamela, at 3:05 AM  

  • Balou, when I find out about little James or Jamesette, I'll let everyone know. And don't curse me with even the thought of post-partum. Let us hope that doesn't happen. But I doubt it will. Mrs. B is way too upbeat about this whole thing and looking forward to it all. I will try to be sensible on my trip. My interview w/Mr. Gooding went well. He's an interesting guy - a good interview. His answers sounded well thought out but not rehearsed. Then again, he's an actor so he could have been fooling me. I'll throw up a link when the story runs. And you are so right about R. Kelly. He does sing about coming to Jesus when he's in trouble and then scoring w/threesomes and what not when he's clear of the law. Suspicious.

    Angie, I'm giving a break, many breaks, nothing but breaks, I promise. Like I told Balou, Gooding was a good interview. I'll put up a link when the story publishes. And sad is too nice a word to describe what's up w/R. Kelly.

    BD, congrats on buying a house. You waited till a good time. You can get houses in six packs down here now the way the market is. And I'm up for the daddy challenge. I'm already used to going out to Taco Bell in the wee hours for myself. Now I'm buying for two...or three (or maybe four, who knows?). Ha ha about Cuba. He says he's excited about this film in a way he hasn't been since Snow Dogs, in terms of the family-friendly flicks he makes. Puhleaaaaaase! Didn't check ID? You know damned well, R. Kelly knew that girl was barely out of middle school. Hello! Remember this is the guy who reportedly secretly married singer/actress Aaliyah (R.I.P.) when she was 15, before her parents forced an annulment. And you're right about SoFla. There are enough armed people down here that if I was a crook I don't think I'd risk my life trying to rob anyone in these parts.

    Queen, yes, the heartbeat was overwhelming. Bananas. Best music I've ever heard. And I've heard the morning sickness gets better. Thank goodness for Mrs. B's sake...and mine.

    Jeni, the interview was a lot of fun. And I'll try to enjoy the trip ;>) I'll keep everyone posted on Mrs. B and James/Jamesina.

    WoW, Mrs. B is staying home. Her mom will be visiting for the week while I'm away. And slowly but surely, everyday I'm getting a little more buckled in, mentally.

    Pamela, that's quite a curse. I doubt the average man could deal with it. And I had a good interview with Gooding, but sorry, I didn't stare ;>)

    By Blogger James Burnett, at 4:04 PM  

  • James,
    Congrats on the ultrasound! Personally I never saw anything in the ultrasound. Except the number 14.

    Secondly, I will promise never to show wife.imp or my sisters your comments on morning sickness...One of my sisters had it so bad the acid of the morning activity started eating the enamal off of her teeth.

    By Blogger dennis, at 11:46 PM  

  • Babies. Babies. Babies. They're, well, they're awesome. And they will run you ragged.
    I have a feeling you and Mrs. B are going to be fantabulous parental units.

    By Anonymous Kim, at 8:24 PM  

  • I never had morning sickness with my son and no food cravings. Mostly I felt really emotional.

    By Blogger C, at 9:07 PM  

  • I was so bad off that at 26 yrs old and 9 months preggers, I looked at my OB and said to tie my tubes once he was born. I got no arguement. Good luck to your sweetie!

    Can't wait to read the interview. I adore Cuba Gooding Jr.

    And no, outside of the Princess Bride and Wonder Years, I can't see Mr. Savage as an adult, no less telling real adults what to do.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 9:28 AM  

  • Congrats on the new upcoming addition to the family. I guess I HAVE been gone a while. Look forward to the Cuba story. He is one of my favorite actors so I hope you will link to it when it is up.


    By Blogger briliantdonkey, at 12:24 AM  

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