We are (potentially) famous!
Before I forget, I haven't forgotten that I said I'd reveal the name to my Web site. But I'm a little indecisive right now and still stuck between two names. I'll try to choose by the end of business on Monday.
Moving right along, I was just lounging and thinking about how loose a definition we've put on fame nowadays.
Sunday evening NBC aired a two hour Guinness World Records special, culminating with a live stunt in which a motorcycle rider, sped his bike through a makeshift tunnel ringed in 1,000-plus degree flames. He made it. He broke a world record for something like longest ride through a flaming tunnel.
I guess I understand people getting titles and fame for unbelievable acts.
One guy was a stunt man who got up on a 300-something foot platform and jumped onto a giant airbag. He didn't miss the bag and splatter on the ground! Or land on his face or his head. He set a record.
Another guy smashed more watermelons with his head in a minute than anyone else, assuming someone else somewhere has tried the same while a stopwatch ticked off the seconds.
A group of guys competed to see who could suck the longest spaghetti noodle into their noses and stretch the noodles intact out of their mouths.
And another guy shoved six swords down his mouth and twisted them around before yanking them out. NBC called him a sword swallower. But the swords didn't come out the other end, so as far as I'm concerned he just tasted 'em and spit 'em back out.
All stupid? Yes. But all qualified as wild and crazy acts, worthy, I guess, of a mention in a book and on an occasional TV special about odd records.
What got me though were the people on the show who "won" titles for things they allowed to happen, things that didn't require any proactive effort or even oddball talent.
There was the woman with the longest beard, who after proving she was born and still is a female, had her unusually long beard measured. She won a world record for not shaving or plucking or waxing or electrifying her chin hair.
There was the guy from India with the world's longest fingernails, and the other guy with the world's longest hair. They hadn't trimmed in 50 and 40 years respectively.
Should there really be trophies handed out for not grooming? In theory, someone, one of you perhaps could go without deodorant for the next year or so and win a title for strongest B.O. by someone in your town. Not me, of course. I treasure my sweet, sweet scent way too much.
Time for me to sign off. I'm going to go work on my world title for most consecutive years - 2.4 and counting - a guy named James Burnett has slept in this house.
See you in the record books.