Bill O'Reilly in Harlem

I'm thinking the most uncomfortable topic for folks in this country to discuss candidly - besides sexual preferences - is race relations. So let's keep talking. We started with Jena yesterday. Let's keep it going. In fact, if we can all stomach it, let's discuss this topic for the rest of the week.

So, issue of the day, for me, anyway: Bill O'Reilly's comments on his radio show the other day about his experience dining with Al Sharpton at Sylvia's restaurant in Harlem, NY. If you don't wanna click the link, the abbreviated version is that Sylvia's is an old, black-owned soul food restaurant in Harlem. Most of Sylvia's patrons are black. It is a restaurant. People go in, the sit, they order, they eat, they drink, they converse, they pay, and they leave. That's about as dramatic as it gets. After dining at Sylvia's, O'Reilly commented - and I'm paraphrasing here - on his radio show that he was pleasantly surprised and impressed with the tame atmosphere in Sylvia's. He was impressed that all the black folks there were well-behaved and not acting out like boisterous, rowdy rappers. He was struck that the atmosphere in Sylvia's was no different than that of any other nice eatery in New York, and he noted that Sylvia's had as nice an atmosphere as any Italian restaurant in any predominantly white suburb.

Now, here's the thing. A lot of the bluster and outrage over what O'Reilly had to say alleged racism on his part. I don't think so. Whether or not you think he is a racist isn't important to me. But in this particular incident, if you take ALL of his comments in full context, the Sylvia's bit was just a part of his monologue decrying stereotypes and racism.

However, I think to try to make this about O'Reilly allegedly being racist is disingenuous and misses the point. I don't believe the man is racist. On the other hand, I don't care if he is, 'cause nothing he says or does directly impacts me.

Only two things bothered me about O'Reilly's comments: that in 2007, an educated, worldly-wise guy like him would be genuinely shocked that the mostly black patronage at Sylvia's was on its best behavior when he dined there, and that many white people form their notions of black folks based on prevalent media images of black rappers.

So here's my question and concern? Is O'Reilly right? Seriously, do a majority of white people in this country think a majority of black folks are like bumbling rappers? 'Cause if he's right - and remember, he's an educated guy who's been around the block - then I can't imagine what "less fortunate" white people must think of us.

Don't get it twisted. I'm not walking around chewing my nails and worrying that white people will think I fling my poop against the wall, wear bearskin loincloths to work, and eat my steak raw. But considering the unnecessary racial tension that still permeates the air all across this country, if we can do away with just one more stereotype it could help.

I really don't have any more to say about this one, other than to reiterate that I hope O'Reilly's wrong about the rapper assertion. And if you're ever in New York try Sylvia's. I love the place and would order the entire menu on each visit, if I could.

A reminder about words

So I'm watching a debate on Hannity and Colmes on FNC between the Rev. Al Sharpton and Harvey Levin of TMZ.com.

Sharpton is upset that TMZ.com, in poking fun of singer Beyonce Knowles' gold-colored, robotic-looking outfit from the recent BET Awards, referred to the outfit as a "robo-ho" outfit.

Sharpton says that all jokes aside, TMZ.com shouldn't have called Beyonce any sort of "ho."

There are plenty of real ho's out there who deserve the label. I'm not just talking females. I have buddies I call hos. They know it. Sure, I speak in jest. But I mean it when I call them that. Why? They're promiscuous.

Harvey Levin says Sharpton should lighten up. He says that it isn't a matter of TMZ.com thinking Beyonce is a "ho" or a "whore" or a "prostitute." It's just a joke.

I don't often agree with the Rev. on anything. But I think he might be right in this case.

On the one hand TMZ.com backpedaled on the site and suggested the use of the word "ho" is wrong in any case. On the other hand, Levin says it was OK to call Beyonce's outfit ho-ish because the site has also called Britney Spears, Paris Hilton, and Lindsay Lohan, among others, hos for their alleged promiscuous behavior. Sharpton agreed with the Web site on one thing: that "ho" shouldn't be used in any case.

So if the standard TMZ.com uses for doling out the label "ho," is one based on ladylike vs. promiscuous behavior, then Sharpton was right to object to the Web site's using it in reference to Beyonce. She does not have a promiscuous reputation as do the young women Levin referenced in defense of the word.

I have to confess I read/watch items on TMZ.com regularly. I don't recall them calling singer Kylie Minogue a ho or her outfit ho-ish, when she began a concert last year in a similar sexy, robotic get-up.

Where both TMZ.com and Sharpton are wrong is in saying that "ho" should never be used. Once again, such a declaration takes us dangerously close to censorship for the sake of sparing everyone's feelings.

They don't need to be concerned about sparing everyone's feelings. They need to be concerned about not lumping groups of people together with slang and labels. It's the same place Imus got himself in trouble.

If he'd watched a documentary film the night before he went on the air that fateful morning that featured interviews with prostitutes and then mentioned on the air that the film was full of hos I don't think he'd have gotten himself in so much hot water. Instead he called apparently decent young women hos and that pissed people off.

Language lesson of the day: don't be afraid to critique, criticize, or analyze. But when you do, if you want to avoid grief make sure the adjective you use to describe your subject is accurate, or be prepared to demonstrate that you were just joking.

Moral of the day: It is true we all need to lighten up again. When people become so afraid of offending that they steer clear of jokes, even racy jokes, then we widen the fissures between different cultural and social groups. And that's the last thing we need in this country right now.