Attention parents, I need to know something
First, my disclaimer: I swear I'm not clowning. I have nothing but respect and admiration for any and all responsible parents.
But Mrs. B and I are working on creating the next generation of James or Jill (that's Mrs. B). So I have to know from you parents, particularly those parents of children under the age of 3, do you base all your decisions on what to do on the status of your kids?
What I mean by status is whether they're hungry or full, how long till their next meal, whether they're wide awake or sleepy or likely to become sleepy anytime soon, whether something entertaining or relaxing will interest them as much or more than you or whether it's something only you would enjoy as an adult.
I watched with great interest my brothers-in-law and sisters-in-law all last week and over the weekend with their kids. They're all great parents. Very attentive, etc.
But I noticed, as much as they all love being parents (of a couple of 2-year-olds, an 8-month-old, and a 7-year-old), they are literally hamstrung depending on the kids' status.
There is no just waking up and going to the mall. There is waking up and deciding whether or not the mall is viable based on when the baby's is next likely to nap.
There is no just waking up and going to the beach, or the museum, or the zoo (substitute wherever you might take your kids here). There is waking up and deciding whether you go to the beach for one hour or four, to the museum for one hour or two, and so on and so forth, depending on when the kids are likely to want to sleep/eat/poop.
Again, I'm impressed as hell with how my bros and sis's-in-law handle their business. Still, I'm guessing I'm a little naive. I always figured regardless of whether you were at the mall or the park or the museum or the grocery, or wherever, you just toss kids in strollers and if they hafta poop they can do it in the stroller (not literally in the stroller, but you know what I mean), if they have to eat they can eat in the stroller, if they have to sleep...
But is this what I have to look forward to, my life being put on a round-the-clock schedule based on what my infants-to-toddlers want/need? I mean I understand over night sleep being an issue. You have to get them in a pattern and stick with it, right? But everything, round-the-clock?
Very disturbing. I think I'll just adopt an 18-year-old with a job, maybe.
But Mrs. B and I are working on creating the next generation of James or Jill (that's Mrs. B). So I have to know from you parents, particularly those parents of children under the age of 3, do you base all your decisions on what to do on the status of your kids?
What I mean by status is whether they're hungry or full, how long till their next meal, whether they're wide awake or sleepy or likely to become sleepy anytime soon, whether something entertaining or relaxing will interest them as much or more than you or whether it's something only you would enjoy as an adult.
I watched with great interest my brothers-in-law and sisters-in-law all last week and over the weekend with their kids. They're all great parents. Very attentive, etc.
But I noticed, as much as they all love being parents (of a couple of 2-year-olds, an 8-month-old, and a 7-year-old), they are literally hamstrung depending on the kids' status.
There is no just waking up and going to the mall. There is waking up and deciding whether or not the mall is viable based on when the baby's is next likely to nap.
There is no just waking up and going to the beach, or the museum, or the zoo (substitute wherever you might take your kids here). There is waking up and deciding whether you go to the beach for one hour or four, to the museum for one hour or two, and so on and so forth, depending on when the kids are likely to want to sleep/eat/poop.
Again, I'm impressed as hell with how my bros and sis's-in-law handle their business. Still, I'm guessing I'm a little naive. I always figured regardless of whether you were at the mall or the park or the museum or the grocery, or wherever, you just toss kids in strollers and if they hafta poop they can do it in the stroller (not literally in the stroller, but you know what I mean), if they have to eat they can eat in the stroller, if they have to sleep...
But is this what I have to look forward to, my life being put on a round-the-clock schedule based on what my infants-to-toddlers want/need? I mean I understand over night sleep being an issue. You have to get them in a pattern and stick with it, right? But everything, round-the-clock?
Very disturbing. I think I'll just adopt an 18-year-old with a job, maybe.
posted by James Burnett at
1:43 PM
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23 comments
