Stuff from all over

I have this problem when there's tons happening in the news and around me. I want to cram it all into one blog post. I'm trying to break myself of that habit, but no luck yet. So right now I'll compromise and instead of five or six items that'll take you 20 minutes to read, I'll limit this post to four short items.

Bad Karma: Two numbnuts in Miami killed the fruit lady, not a drug dealer or a jewel thief, or a sexual predator who had been harassing children in the neighborhood, not a criminal of any sort. They killed a 47-year-old married mother who sold fresh fruit and vegetables from the back of her pickup truck for a living. Who's so hard up for cash that they beat and shoot a fruit vendor, an unarmed mom? Whether these guys are caught or not, they have a lot of negative energy headed their way. And I hope it finds 'em in spades.

To legislate, or not: City of Miami officials are considering a ban on panhandling in parts of downtown, so as to cut back on harassment of downtown workers and tourists. Miami already lost an ACLU-filed lawsuit to a homeless man about 12 years ago, after a court found that police and other city workers were systematically hassling the homeless in unlawful ways. I'm not calloused to homelessness. But I'm all for the panhandling ban. I've written before it's like walking a gauntlet of outstretched arms, open palms, and sometimes harsh or loony words, in some parts of downtown Miami just to get from one end of a block to the other.

Shameless self promotion: I keep forgetting to post my articles. I've been writing a lot of profiles lately. No rhyme or reason. Just coincidence. Here and here are my two most recent.

Real talk: That's what the kids call it, when you're speaking bluntly and honestly and not pulling punches for the wrong reasons. So lately more and more politicians have made public calls for "real" conversations about race relations in the U.S. Apparently it's the latest chic thing for them to say publicly. Clearly they've been reading from the playbook of some major media pundits - TV and print, who like to wax poetic about how "we," whoever "we" are should be having deep conversations about the things that make us different...and similar. I personally don't think it's possible for politicians to have such conversations though, 'cause they would be required to sometimes speak in politically incorrect terms. And they would be forced to admit that they don't know everything about every race/ethnic group. Then again that hasn't stopped some of the pundits. So for the foreseeable future, every Thursday or Friday we're going to have a "real" conversation about race right here on Burnettiquette. No worries. It won't be a black and white conversation. It'll be black, white, Asian, Latino, and so on. You can post questions in advance by emailing me, and we'll discuss them. Or I'll pull something from the headlines and break it down and you can give your take. Maybe sometimes we'll do both. Let's hope we all learn a little something.

What gives?

First, I have a bragging point to make: Getting off of the freeway this morning on the way to the Miami Herald to start work, I saw the usual panhandler at the bottom of the ramp. There's a traffic signal there, so often he paces, hitting up the cars that are waiting to exit.

A couple of months ago, I speculated that the panhandlers - I won't call 'em homeless, 'cause for all I know they live in nicer homes than mine - "worked" the freeway ramps in shifts. I was only half joking, 'cause depending on the time of day you exited or entered the freeway there was a different crew.

Well, this morning I'm waiting at the red light at the bottom of the ramp, and the usual guy is there. I catch movement out the corner of my eye and turn in time to see another grown man running up, out of breath, holding a big paper cup, like a fast food cup, or as I like to call 'em change-collecting cups. When he got about three feet from the corner, he looked up and pulled up short. He had seen the regular guy. They look at one another and exchange friendly smiles. The runner says to the regular "Oh, my bad. I didn't know you were 'working' this side. I'll be working over here." He gestures to the on-ramp about 20 yards away and strolls that direction.

I was right. They do work in organized shifts.

Second, there was some computer trouble at the paper this morning, apparently not affecting all computers, but definitely mine. So, since I have a story to finish writing by tomorrow morning I did the expedient thing. I grabbed my laptop and headed to the nearest place as dusty and stodgy as a newsroom: the local public library.

I found a good seat in a corner with a set of four chairs and a center table. I plugged in, whipped out my notes, and started writing. Within 30 minutes I was surrounded on three sides by presumably homeless guys. Immediately they became disruptive. They didn't aim anything directly at me. But they engaged in loud, boisterous conversation, they kicked off shoes and lounged as if they were at home, they slurped loudly from cans and bottles, they whipped out loaves of bread and deli meats and began slapping sandwiches together and passing them around. Leaving bits of food and huge bread rinds all over the place. And they were swearing a lot...with small children walking by.

I tried to ignore and keep writing. Apparently another patron, less patient than me, found a cop on the premises and asked her to do something.

Know what she did? Approached the quad, where the four of "us" sat and proceeded to scold "us" for being too noisy and asked "us," very nearly pleaded with "us" to be a little quieter. Not a word about the food. Not a word about the shoeless lounging. Not a word about the general disruptive behavior. Nothing.

I'm no elitist. Never have been. But if you can't get quiet time in a library, then it's time to put these cats out on their behinds. It's nothing against homelessness. It's not pretending homelessness isn't a problem. This is about making grown folks behave in public. And what the hell good is a cop who isn't gonna police that behavior? She could've told these guys to pipe down or else. I've seen folks get disorderly conduct tickets for giving cross looks to police officers in public. This didn't warrant a warning, at least?

The drama ended when the officer walked away all smiley as if she'd just accomplished something. What did the guy directly across from me say? "I'll bet it was that guy at that table over there who said something. Bet he wouldn't say anything if we smacked him in his mouth."

Yeah, that's gonna generate my sympathy.

I'm still skeptical

OK, I have a confession to make. I'm suspicious of panhandlers.

That's not a huge revelation, 'cause I know that by nature we tend to be suspicious of strangers. Add to their stranger status bad clothes, a funky smell, a sullen and/or bizarre attitude, and persistent begging, and you have a deal breaker.

I try to be compassionate, but you may recall past experience has chipped away at that emotion where the homeless are concerned. And I just can't help but think I'm getting punked each time I fork up $.50 cents or a dollar.

This post by my friend Tiggerlane, and last night's episode of South Park made me think of it, as the town was overrun by homeless on a mission for change - no paper money, just change.

It's South Park. So sure, it was goofy and just a little mean. But there was sort of a moral to the story. When I exit the highway each morning in downtown Miami, on the way to the Miami Herald building there is a gauntlet of panhandlers waiting with paper cups, ball caps, tin cans, you name it. And I swear these guys are working in shifts now. I always see the same two guys on Monday mornings. And then there's a different couple of guys the next day. And a different pair in the afternoons. They share the same spot.

I don't know what to tell ya. I'm on the phone trying to set up interviews for an article or explaining to my wife why I'll be getting home two hours later than I originally said. I just don't have a lot of patience for a grown man getting next to my window and grinning and waving his cup at me. It nearly makes me salty.

I understand mental illness plays a huge role in all of this. Drug use too. And a couple of the guys are physically disabled. Otherwise what reasons would a grown apparently healthy man voluntarily stand on the side of the road begging for change?

There's one guy who is only out there on the exit ramp sporadically - sometimes a few days in a row, and sometimes I don't see him for a week or two. I suspect he's getting fed and sheltered in the interim, 'cause his sign looks funny. And like Chris Rock said, if you have enough jollies that you can make a jokey sign asking for money and/or food, you can't be that hungry. Hunger ain't funny. If I was hungry like that I wouldn't be telling jokes - spoken or written. My sign might say "Will die if I don't eat."

I don't know that I'm smart enough to solve the homeless problem. But I know that it bugs me. I won't lie. I hate being confronted by people asking for stuff. But I also hate seeing so many apparently destitute people who need either treatment or a loving kick in the behind to jump start their lives, or a combination of both. I am smart of enough, however, to think of John Bradford when I see these guys.

What to do, what to do?