Greetings and Salutations
So I'm not too far removed from a trip with Mrs. B to Bed, Bath & Beyond.
I've never figured out what the "Beyond" is all about. Maybe the kitchen utensils and other random crap, like oven gloves, and sea salt grinders. Or maybe if you stand in just the right spot in the store you'll be taken to a parallel universe.
Anyway, the store manager freaked me out. He said "hi" too much. I'm not kidding. It was bizarre. I worked in a couple of department stores back in the day, so I know that this time of year the pre-game cheer goes something like "The doors are about to open, people. The first customer will be walking through them any time. Look alive! And be sure to say 'hello' to every single customer you encounter!"
I also know that sometimes, when the store is busy, employees hurrying to and fro' can forget that they've already said "hi" to you, so they say it again.
But this store wasn't busy. There was hardly anyone there. Five seconds after we walked in the store manager walked up, smiled wide and said "Hi!" Then we walked about 15 feet and stopped to shop, and about 45 seconds later he passed us by and slowed briefly and smiled wide and said "Hi!" Then we walked about 30 feet more and stopped and he approached again and said "Hi!" He did this about six more times at less than one minute intervals.
There was hardly anyone in the store. He couldn't have forgotten he'd already spoken to us. Weirdo. I know I'm right, 'cause when we finally managed to escape him another employee said "hi" and smiled as we walked by. And when we passed her by again five minutes or so later, she started to say "hi" again, but caught herself, blushed and instead said "sorry" for doubling up.
Yes, I was bored. Otherwise, I'd have no excuse for even noticing the stalker store manager.
I've never figured out what the "Beyond" is all about. Maybe the kitchen utensils and other random crap, like oven gloves, and sea salt grinders. Or maybe if you stand in just the right spot in the store you'll be taken to a parallel universe.
Anyway, the store manager freaked me out. He said "hi" too much. I'm not kidding. It was bizarre. I worked in a couple of department stores back in the day, so I know that this time of year the pre-game cheer goes something like "The doors are about to open, people. The first customer will be walking through them any time. Look alive! And be sure to say 'hello' to every single customer you encounter!"
I also know that sometimes, when the store is busy, employees hurrying to and fro' can forget that they've already said "hi" to you, so they say it again.
But this store wasn't busy. There was hardly anyone there. Five seconds after we walked in the store manager walked up, smiled wide and said "Hi!" Then we walked about 15 feet and stopped to shop, and about 45 seconds later he passed us by and slowed briefly and smiled wide and said "Hi!" Then we walked about 30 feet more and stopped and he approached again and said "Hi!" He did this about six more times at less than one minute intervals.
There was hardly anyone in the store. He couldn't have forgotten he'd already spoken to us. Weirdo. I know I'm right, 'cause when we finally managed to escape him another employee said "hi" and smiled as we walked by. And when we passed her by again five minutes or so later, she started to say "hi" again, but caught herself, blushed and instead said "sorry" for doubling up.
Yes, I was bored. Otherwise, I'd have no excuse for even noticing the stalker store manager.
Labels: howdy
posted by James Burnett at
7:01 PM
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6 comments
