The rules of rebounding: DON'T DO IT!
If I've said it once, I've said it 1,000 times: DO NOT BE THE FIRST PERSON TO DATE A GIRL OR GUY AFTER THEY HAVE ENDED A LONG TERM OR SERIOUS RELATIONSHIP WITH ANOTHER PERSON.
If you do, you are officially a rebound. You do not want to be a rebound. Rebounds are like new oil or air filters. They are there to catch the crap.
I just heard from a good buddy who has been in love with a woman for years - a woman he became friends with right after her troubled marriage failed, a woman who might easily have lost her job and been on the street if he hadn't been so generous with financial help, a woman he listened to for hours on end, days on end, weeks on end, months on end, as she cried - literally and figuratively - over her naughty ex and the condition he left her and her kids in emotionally and financially, a woman who told him he meant the world to her, but who never quite got around to treating him like anything but a protective sibling.
My buddy just heard from this woman that she has a new boyfriend.
The problem with becoming the rebound is you are unwitting therapy to the recently broken up person. They will work out all the kinks on you, whether they mean to or not. And when they've finally got their heads and hearts right, thanks in large part to your devotion, they will promptly put themselves back on the market leaving you stunned and suddenly realizing that they were never with you, that they had been off the market from the time they broke up with the ex to the time they decided they were "healed." You were a stop gap measure.
To be fair, this woman did not stick a gun to my buddy's head. But she didn't turn him away either.
I feel bad for my buddy. He gave his heart and soul (and wallet) to this woman for years - easily more than five years. He's a grown man. You can argue he should have seen the signs, but we all know that love is blind...and sometimes deaf and mute. He's a good guy, pure heart. But man, I can't emphasize how much this rebound thing was starting to write itself on the wall.
He'll be OK, 'cause he is genuinely good, and in spite of all the clichéd complaints about women only loving bad boys, there are still women out there who appreciate a good, easygoing dude. But for now, this has to hurt.
This is like those anti-drug campaigns. Please do yourselves a favor: DON'T BE A REBOUND.
If you do, you are officially a rebound. You do not want to be a rebound. Rebounds are like new oil or air filters. They are there to catch the crap.
I just heard from a good buddy who has been in love with a woman for years - a woman he became friends with right after her troubled marriage failed, a woman who might easily have lost her job and been on the street if he hadn't been so generous with financial help, a woman he listened to for hours on end, days on end, weeks on end, months on end, as she cried - literally and figuratively - over her naughty ex and the condition he left her and her kids in emotionally and financially, a woman who told him he meant the world to her, but who never quite got around to treating him like anything but a protective sibling.
My buddy just heard from this woman that she has a new boyfriend.
The problem with becoming the rebound is you are unwitting therapy to the recently broken up person. They will work out all the kinks on you, whether they mean to or not. And when they've finally got their heads and hearts right, thanks in large part to your devotion, they will promptly put themselves back on the market leaving you stunned and suddenly realizing that they were never with you, that they had been off the market from the time they broke up with the ex to the time they decided they were "healed." You were a stop gap measure.
To be fair, this woman did not stick a gun to my buddy's head. But she didn't turn him away either.
I feel bad for my buddy. He gave his heart and soul (and wallet) to this woman for years - easily more than five years. He's a grown man. You can argue he should have seen the signs, but we all know that love is blind...and sometimes deaf and mute. He's a good guy, pure heart. But man, I can't emphasize how much this rebound thing was starting to write itself on the wall.
He'll be OK, 'cause he is genuinely good, and in spite of all the clichéd complaints about women only loving bad boys, there are still women out there who appreciate a good, easygoing dude. But for now, this has to hurt.
This is like those anti-drug campaigns. Please do yourselves a favor: DON'T BE A REBOUND.
Labels: bouncing back, dating, rebound, used
posted by James Burnett at
10:23 AM
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34 comments
