The Cowboy Code: Chapter Eight (I think) - The acceptable second look

So with all this talk about being sprung and what not, I thought I'd offer the latest chapter of The Cowboy Code: the unofficial guide to man behavior and motivation. And let me preface this by saying I'm not doing this 'cause I'm in the dog house. I don't believe in dog houses, except for real, literal canines. But if I did believe in 'em, I'm not in one. Mrs. B and I are just fine, and we keep it that way in part because I have no problem sharing with her the sacred contents of The Cowboy Code. It is the grown-up version of The Chictionary, a guide I lived by in college.

That being said, in a couple of earlier posts I've briefly mentioned guys looking at other women in public. Usually it came up 'cause we saw some other guy doing it and not even trying to hide it, and we got a laugh out of that. Naturally, those situations led to me being asked if I ever look.

My answer was that yes, all straight men look at other women. I didn't say we all lust after other women - apples and oranges. But we do all look. And any straight man who says he never looks is a liar, and his pants are on fire. And if your trousers are "burning" you need to see a doctor, because you've probably been doing more than looking.

But the look has different incarnations, one good, one bad:

• The innocent look - You are, for example, standing in the mall staring straight ahead, zoning out as you wait for your wife (or girlfriend, etc.) to finish browsing a rack of clothing, and suddenly another woman walks across your line of sight. Instinctively you focus and you look. It could have been a juggling chimp or an elephant on a unicycle crossing your line of sight. You look, because something interesting caught your eye. It doesn't matter whether you like or dislike what you see, whether you find the other woman attractive or not. It matters that you don't put much thought into it and that the look does not turn into a stare.
• The heat seeker - You are, for example, standing in the mall waiting for your wife to finish browsing the same rack of clothing and you take advantage of the "opportunity" by swiveling your neck like a periscope, hoping to catch a glimpse of whatever is in your range. You do this, because you know your wife (or girlfriend, etc.) is not paying attention and you can get away with it. Tsk, tsk.

So here's the deal ladies: The problem is not the look, because we all know the first look can be innocent. As I explained to the missus, who I'm certain thinks I'm insane, the problem is the second look and, more importantly, why that second look is taken.

If, for example, the second look is taken 'cause a guy is so wowed by the other woman that he has to see more, more, more, that is a bad second look. It usually turns into staring and ogling. Most guys with sense are smart enough to not take that second look.

However, there is an acceptable second look. Let's say a guy is heading down the sidewalk and he looks up in time to see a what he believes to be a pretty woman walk past him in the same direction. He catches up to her, because she stops or slows down.

Ladies, he is going to take a second look when he catches up to her: but it will be aimed at her face. It's not necessarily 'cause he's trying to flirt or can't control himself. He will look at her face, because he wants to know if what he saw walking away was the complete deal. He will be tortured (for a few minutes, anyway) if he doesn't find out whether she's attractive all-around, or whether just from the neck down.

If you see your man taking this type of second look, ladies, don't be too upset with him. Asking him to not do it is like asking him to stop reading on page 299 of a 300 page book.

But guys don't you take advantage of this acceptable second look either. All looks should be limited to a glance. A glance means a split second. Anything longer than that and you have some 'splainin' to do.

Thank me ladies. It's not often you'll get a peek inside The Cowboy Code. Like "sprung," this one's on the house.