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Burnett's Urban Etiquette

Tuesday, May 23, 2006


Man, I hate Palm Pilots!

Kidding. What I really despise are excessive public displays of affection.

My mother-in-law, who is visiting this week (and is always welcome, all you haters out there), was telling me last evening that shortly before her flight from Milwaukee yesterday she and four other passengers in a very tight space were subject to a grown man telling his poopykens how much he wuved and missed her and how he couldn't wait to hold his shnookems in his arms again.

Are you kidding me? Where's the shame? No self-respecting man is gonna chat like that on a cell phone in a crowd, where every word can be picked up, unless that plane is in trouble.

Besides, I'm just cynical enough to think that guys like this somehow think they're showing off their sensitive sides. If I'm wrong, then why did this guy not make the call while he was lounging in the gate area prior to boarding? It wasn't like he was O.J. in a Hertz commercial, hurtling suitcases and skycaps in order to make his flight. Why wait until he was on the plane, minutes before takeoff, to make such a private-content call? He wanted to be heard! That's my theory, and I'm sticking to it.

Grown folks, too much PDA is not cute when other people are in the room. Limit yourself to hand-holding, quick smooches (when necessary), arms around each other's waists (but none of that 1980s-esque hands in each other's back pockets) and short, neat, clean words of affection when on the phone. "Love you," "miss you," "see you soon," or any combination of such is acceptable.

Anything more is bad Burnettiquette.


  • I agree... tell 'em how you feel, but don't drown it in syrup. And for god's sake, don't get louder on the thing in the checkout lane at the store. I watched a guy pick up the phone and make the cashier wait while he loudly said "YEAH, I'M AT THE STORE! GETTING A FEW THINGS...." Didn't make him cool... everyone wanted to throw veggies at him.

    By Anonymous ChrisA, at 9:33 PM  

  • What I hate is the way people just answer their mobiles, or ring someone, from public places, train carriages are the worst. You really don't have to shout one the phone these days for the person at the other end to hear you!

    Then there are the ignorant who ignore the 'quiet zone' notices in carriages which are SUPPOSED to be mobile- (& personal stereo-) free zones, & go ahead & phone regardless.

    I swear, somedays if the trains these days didn't not have opening windows . . .

    By Anonymous Bronchitikat, at 2:43 AM  

  • Speaking of PDA, oh boy, in Spain, people don't move out of their folks' homes until they get married, so like, the whole country needs to 'get a room.' I mean like you're just standing on the street corner or something, and there's a couple standing next to you doing some serious exchange of saliva, oblivious to the other humans around them. If I had 1 euro for the all-out kissing I saw on the streets, I'd have been flying first class! I mention this because I have never seen anything like it in Miami.

    By Blogger Manola Blablablanik, at 10:18 AM  

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