Stupid Frog, Stupid Hippies
It's after 1 a.m., and Frogarotti (see previous post: http://burnettiquette.blogspot.com/2006/05/beast-must-die.html) is still yammering in my back yard.
He (or she, I'll bet she) is not losing enthusiasm. Her voice is not getting hoarse, as I'd hoped. I tried to find her. I can't. She pipes down when I get outside, cupping my ear and pointing the flashlight. And she mocks me by croaking away as soon as I turn my back to head indoors. She is loud. I can hear this frog through the walls. Even my dog, who doesn't have that great a sense of humor, is lying at my feet right now looking at me like "Tsk, tsk, big man. You can't silence one fat little frog with big pipes?"
Where are all the lilly pad-loving hippies when I need them to save this frog's life...from me? I know it's bad Burnettiquette to pimp slap animals. But surely if I catch this frog before PETA arrives, she (or he) is goin' down.
He (or she, I'll bet she) is not losing enthusiasm. Her voice is not getting hoarse, as I'd hoped. I tried to find her. I can't. She pipes down when I get outside, cupping my ear and pointing the flashlight. And she mocks me by croaking away as soon as I turn my back to head indoors. She is loud. I can hear this frog through the walls. Even my dog, who doesn't have that great a sense of humor, is lying at my feet right now looking at me like "Tsk, tsk, big man. You can't silence one fat little frog with big pipes?"
Where are all the lilly pad-loving hippies when I need them to save this frog's life...from me? I know it's bad Burnettiquette to pimp slap animals. But surely if I catch this frog before PETA arrives, she (or he) is goin' down.
posted by James Burnett at
1:13 AM
7 Comments:
You have a pond, you have a frog who's moved into your pond & is advertising for a mate. It's, probably, male.
Get it a mate - though with a voice like that one has she's probably heard & on her way by now.
& be greatful that Nature still manages to find it's way right into the big city.
I'd love to have some frogs in our yard, the slugs & snails are getting out of hand.
By
Anonymous, at 3:46 AM
You don't need to kill it, necesarily, just... relocate it.
http://neanderpundit.com/archives/000092.html
By
Anonymous, at 6:47 AM
Oh my, thank God you don't live in the dark recesses of South Beach, because then you'd have to deal with the sounds of humans mating. Yuck. :-)
Please keep us posted on the life of Frogarotti.
By
Maria de los Angeles, at 1:20 PM
In my last apartment in wonderful Phoenix, me and my wife heard our upstairs neighbors "mating." They lasted a whole 15 seconds!
By
Anonymous, at 10:25 PM
Stop hatin' on your froggy friend! Kermit's just tryin' to get his groove on!
By
Anonymous, at 4:35 PM
Manola, you don't have to live in South Beach to hear human mating. My wife and I had a tenant downstairs in our place in Milwaukee, and we had to listen to what sounded like death struggles - cat or human, I cannot tell - a couple times a week.
By
James Burnett, at 7:26 PM
Be wary of this toad. They secrete a protective coating that is a mild hallucinigenic (sp). If your dogs decides to grab it, it could be fatal. The secretion attacks the central nervous system.
Thay will not run from a dog, they have no fear. Try to remove the toad from your yard, if only to protect your dog.
By
Anonymous, at 9:38 AM
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