The Toes Knows
I used to think my wife was nagging me for reminding me to slather up the feet with lotion before I walked out of the house in sandals.
That was until I saw two of the crustiest sets of toes today that I've ever seen in my life. And to be fair, one set was on woman, the other on a guy.
The guy, coming down an escalator that I was riding up, had such crusty feet it looked like he was trying to bake a pie in those shoes.
Fellas, women aren't joking when they say they check out our shoes when examining the potential of the total package. And if they look at your feet and see dry rot, that will be a deal breaker.
And ladies you ain't off the hook. Speaking of hook, the crusty female toes I saw earlier were clutching a pair of too cute but too small open-toed heels like bird claws. Those gray toes were holding on for dear life, as though if they loosened their grip the shoes would fall off.
Check your toes people, or cover 'em up in public. I'm gonna have visions of mummy feet as I try to fall asleep tonight, and that just ain't right.
Wonky toes = bad Burnettiquette.
That was until I saw two of the crustiest sets of toes today that I've ever seen in my life. And to be fair, one set was on woman, the other on a guy.
The guy, coming down an escalator that I was riding up, had such crusty feet it looked like he was trying to bake a pie in those shoes.
Fellas, women aren't joking when they say they check out our shoes when examining the potential of the total package. And if they look at your feet and see dry rot, that will be a deal breaker.
And ladies you ain't off the hook. Speaking of hook, the crusty female toes I saw earlier were clutching a pair of too cute but too small open-toed heels like bird claws. Those gray toes were holding on for dear life, as though if they loosened their grip the shoes would fall off.
Check your toes people, or cover 'em up in public. I'm gonna have visions of mummy feet as I try to fall asleep tonight, and that just ain't right.
Wonky toes = bad Burnettiquette.
posted by James Burnett at
8:38 PM
2 Comments:
Also, chunky people shouldn't wear tight clothes. I'm not against the chunkies, but it's not your best feature and you should brag by shoe-horning yourself into smaller clothes. I hide the beer belly, please do the same.
By
Anonymous, at 10:27 PM
Get a pedicure, use Avon Skin So Soft gelled oil - rubs in and leaves soft powdery feel - lasts a long time. Get the sandals that fit properly. Also with regard to
Chrisa's comment - AMEN. Just because is is made in your size does not mean you have to wear it.
Jeans that are so tight and so low that not only do you muffin-top, but the butt is squeezed so tight that the jeans are screaming to slide off and free the butt are not attractive. Some things should not be made in certain sizes.
Also, just another thought. With all of the pediphiles out there why do you want to put a pair of pants, or shorts on your little girl with something written across the seat.
By
Anonymous, at 10:11 AM
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