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Burnett's Urban Etiquette

Wednesday, May 10, 2006

What's Good for the Goose...

I recently poked fun in this blog at an old friendly acquaintance for still using pick-up lines to meet and attract women. I said it was corny.

It's only fair then in the area of romance - I'm gonna start charging a fee for relationship tips - that women get called out too.

An old friend emailed me to catch up on things and tell me how life was going for her in NYC. One thing that isn't going is her love life.

She described a recent date to me and said it fizzled and fell flat because after a light bite and cocktails they went to a club, and the guy couldn't dance. The way she described it this guy moved like Jabba the Hutt - meaning he danced like he had no feet.

Now, I understand the value of a good rug cutting. It's an ice breaker. It's fun. It tells you, some folks theorize, whether that other person is prone to good rhythm, period, or might be clumsy in other ways too.

But most guys can't dance, except for those who are male strippers. We, the non-strippers, all think we can dance because we've seen a couple of Usher videos, and even a few of those old MJ videos before he started grabbing himself all the time. And we've convinced ourselves that we can duplicate their moves. But we can't. If each dance routine is measured on a 20 point scale, one point for each move in the routine, the best of us might consistently score fours and fives. What we've fooled you with is a practiced ability to bob our heads to a beat, smile while we're doing it, wave our hands in the air like we just don't care (thus taking attention off of our feet), and thrusting our hips just so, so that it appears from the waist up we're actually moving our legs. We occasionally move one foot or the other, just to throw you off.

Then there are those guys who don't even try to look cool about it. They just try to have fun. I say kudos to them too.

My point ladies is that there are some things that men will never be as good at as you. You have to accept that. And the faster you accept that, the faster you'll realize that those things are so superficial that you shouldn't use them to gage a guy's worthiness.

'Cause as years pass, if you're still alone (and want a relationship - not everyone does), you're gonna find out something about that guy from back in the day with two left feet: He might have been clumsy, but he probably also had a JOB (not saying you need his money, but at least you know he wouldn't be trying to take yours), and a PERSONALITY, and was TRUSTWORTHY, RESPONSIBLE, and RELIABLE.

Hey, I'm just saying, if you want to see a guy dance that well, there are plenty of places you can go and toss a few $1 bills. But there aren't that many place you can find a good man.

On two completely unrelated notes, thank you llh from Hazard, KY, for your kind words. And Tere, this may make me seem odd (or odder than I already am), but I've never been fond of "Jim" as a nickname 'cause it makes me think too much of Tom Sawyer, Huck Finn and their "buddy" Jim. As for family they all call me James now, except for one of my grandmothers and a couple of my aunts who slip up every now and then and call me Jamie, a nickname I never fully shed till I was in my 20s.


  • For me, it's not how well the guys dances, but whether or not he has the sense of humor and self-confidence to get out on the dance floor, regardless of how he dances. A guy who gets out there and has a blast is an incredible turn-on.

    Also, I so can't dance. Awkward, awkward, awkward. But so what, I love letting the music move me.

    By Blogger Tere, at 9:40 PM  

  • Great scene from When Harry Met Sally and Harry's describing the "white man's overbite," remember? LOL!

    Gauging a guy by his dance abilities is just plain dumb. Ladies, seriously, how much TIME are you going to spend with him on the dance floor anyway?

    By Blogger Manola Blablablanik, at 9:29 PM  

  • I can't dance, never could. I show women (worked for the woman I married) in the kitchen how I take care of them. Made her chicken courdon bleu and she was hooked. I recommend cooking, it's more fun.

    By Anonymous ChrisA, at 10:08 PM  

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