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Burnett's Urban Etiquette

Wednesday, October 11, 2006

Can we please be nice to the Guy family?

So last year's Runaway Bride - the Georgia woman, who ran away before her wedding and later said she was kidnapped - is in the news for suing her ex-fiance, the guy who stood by her after she was exposed as an unblinking - seriously, those eyes freak me out - liar.

She says he owes her for money he collected after they sold the broadcast rights to their story.

Her actions were triflin' and crappy at best. And she definitely qualifies as Pantload of the Day for having the gall to sue this man, after virtually standing him up at the altar.

But this bizarre twist in her story made me think of the Guy brothers.

Surely you've heard of S.B. Guy and his brother S. H. Guy?

I'll give you a hint. Not only are they related, but apparently they live next door to one another.

Still unsure? The Runaway Bride said one of the Guy brothers kidnapped and sexually assaulted her.

Still can't guess?

OK, the Guy brothers are also known as Some Black Guy and Some Hispanic Guy. For some strange reason, though neither has ever been convicted of a crime, much less charged with one, their names always come up when people like the Runaway Bride need a believable, scary scapegoat.

I for one hope I never meet either of the Guy brothers, 'cause those cats are cursed.

If I remember right, even O.J. or someone who vouched for him saw one of the Guy brothers outside Nicole Brown Simpson's house.

I had a high school classmate, who in a desperate attempt to explain her long absence from home and her missing curfew, etc., suggested S.B. Guy had waylaid her.

Forget walking under ladders, opening umbrellas indoors, or breaking mirrors. You want bad luck? Get within 10 feet of a member of the Guy family.


  • Isn't it ironic how members of the Guy family always show up to harass members of the suburban sheltered class?

    Run for your lives!

    By Blogger QofD, at 3:21 PM  

  • I think we should definitely be nice to the Guys, but James, that woman is SO insane, she would've scapegoated a pumpkin is she could.

    By Blogger Manola Blablablanik, at 5:45 PM  

  • Manola, you're right. I know. She would've blamed her own mother if she'd have thought it was believable. I just couldn't resist writing about the Guys.

    By Blogger James Burnett, at 5:52 PM  

  • I really feel for the Guy family.
    What a group, held responsible for most everything. If I remember correctly, it was S.B. Guy that took Susan Smith's two sons and drove her car into the lake in South Carolina. Luckily, someone didn't but that one and she eventually fessed up. Talk about a sicko. If I were a member of the Guy family I think I would change my name. As for the runaway bride- her ex should sue her and himself for being too stupid to appear in public.

    By Anonymous Laura (llh), at 10:16 PM  

  • I always thought of her as the the "Runaway Broad."

    By Blogger Matt, at 11:02 PM  

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