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Burnett's Urban Etiquette

Thursday, June 21, 2007

730 and Counting

Today, Thursday, is not significant other than the fact it's another day, and if you're reading this you're alive. So you have something to be happy about.

Friday will not be significant, other than the fact that it will mark the end of the work week for most of us.

Saturday is a toss-up.

Now Sunday is special. And while I could wait till then to write what I'm about to, I have no intention of being on my computer on Sunday. So you get my soliloquy a few days early.

Sunday will mark two years since Mrs. B and I said "I do" - or was it "I will?" - to one another on the alter at St. Mark's Church on Brewer's Hill, in Milwaukee, Wisconsin.

And my thoughts on marriage haven't changed much from a year ago. A year ago I was stoked but shocked that we had made it 12 months - not because I doubted that either of us loved the other very much, but because we just hadn't realized how greatly our lives would change once we became responsible for another human being. We had a lot to learn - still do. Lots of laughs, a few frowns, a few tears, more laughs, and some all-around wisening. It didn't kill us and we're stronger.

I'm still in awe of the fact that someone agreed to marry me. Seriously, that still unnerves me. Ask my friends - especially my female friends, and they'll tell you I am the absent-minded professor. Forgetful isn't cute, I'm told.

I'm still learning to share my space. I love Mrs. B. And I love our dog. And I'm friendly with our cat. But there are times I still want to wake up on Saturday morning and roll over in bed and watch cartoons and not get going till noon or so. Really, I'd like to do that everyday. Well, even without kids yet, there's still just too much to do. No time for so much lounging. Same goes for me just jumping in the car and taking a random drive to think and soak up the quiet and ambiance. Or spending five hours on the basketball court on Sunday afternoon. Can't do these things quite as much. And that's OK. We have stuff we do together now that's more enjoyable than pretty much anything I'd do alone. Get your minds out of the gutter. Again, my friends will tell you that I was the ultimate single guy in terms of my space. When I lived in Milwaukee, before I started dating Mrs. B, if a major holiday rolled around and I was unable to get home to Virginia for it, I was perfectly content ordering a pizza, buying a six-pack, renting a couple of good movies, and spending the holiday weekend, stretched over my couch...alone. I was House, MD, but not quite as sharp-tongued or sharp-witted. I'd let the friends drag me out for holiday celebrations, but most of the time it was grudging. So when I found someone I realized I would like to share my space with it was an awkward transition. I have those flashes of single-envy, where time is concerned. But I wouldn't trade w/any of my single friends.

I'm still thrilled that Mrs. B - the Bonnie to my Clyde - and I silenced the haters (salty friends, jealous former friends, ex-girlfriends, and all-purpose bitter people who predicted I wasn't cut out for marriage and we wouldn't last). Where are you cats now? Mmmmm, taste the silence!

If I've learned anything new since the conclusion of year-one, it's that she knows me better than I ever thought possible in such a short period of time, that I love her now more than I did "back then," and that we work best when we "riff" off of one another and compliment through action each other's strengths and weaknesses - sort of a symbiotic thing.

Now, from what the veterans tell me, two years means we've just been broken in like a new car.

Here's to 40 or 50 or 60 more.

I'll post tomorrow some time. But this one? This couldn't wait till Sunday.

Peace and hair grease, my friends.

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  • Awwwww....what a great tribute to your lady! It makes me feel all warm and fuzzy.

    Congratulations and here's to too many more happy years than you count!

    By Blogger SWF41, at 3:37 PM  

  • Congratulations to you both! When you find the right person, it is like the Red Sea parting -- everything happens easily, almost without effort.

    When Flip and I married, we vowed to value our commitment to each other more than our individual wills, and after 15 years, it's still working.

    You will be amazed at how fast those years will go. I wish you many more happy years together.

    By Blogger heartinsanfrancisco, at 7:08 PM  

  • congratulations! may you have many more and enjoy them even more than the past two!

    By Blogger savannah, at 8:07 PM  

  • Happy Anniversary and congrats on the two year mark. May they get happier and happier every year.

    By Blogger Queen of Dysfunction, at 11:25 PM  

  • ...and may I propose that Mrs. B give your readers an anniversary gift? Like start her own blog? I can't be the only Burnettiquette reader who is curious about the thoughts of the elusive Mrs. B.

    I am? Was that stalkerish?

    By Blogger Queen of Dysfunction, at 11:26 PM  

  • Happy Anniversary to you and Mrs. B!

    And I agree with QofD. I think at least a guest post from Mrs. B is in order. Maybe she can hang out some of your dirty laundry for us. LOL ;-)

    By Blogger Jay, at 11:35 PM  

  • Happy Anniversary, and to many, many more happy, healthy ones too. My wife and i just celebrated our 36th Anniversary on June 6th, and I agree with Hearts. It's gone by in a flash. Best decision I ever made.

    By Blogger The CEO, at 12:57 AM  

  • Congratulations, Mr & Mrs B, long may the marriage continue. We knotch up 26 years next month, & still reckon it's the best thing we ever did.

    BTW - 21st June is the Longest Day, so it is memorable, kinda!

    By Anonymous bronchitikat, at 6:37 AM  

  • Congrats to you and your wife. Marraige aint easy baby!! But who else would have us?

    By Blogger ADW, at 10:16 AM  

  • I was thinking as I read your post -and that thinking thing, where I am concerned, can sometimes be a big risky -but anyway, it hit me that in two short years, you have learned a great deal about the art of sharing your "space" with another person, compromise and compassion and other things needed to make a marriage work. I understand the need for those things now -35 years since I married and 27 years since the divorce -don't know exactly when I figured a lot of them out, but it definitely wasn't within the first two years time zone, for sure! LOL
    Congratulations to both of you on a job very well done and here's wishing you both many, many more happy years together and for good measure, throw in a couple little ones to make your life really exciting, albeit in a much different manner at times!

    By Blogger Jeni, at 10:19 AM  

  • Congrats!!!! James I'm so tickled for you guys! It's good to see two regular people working it out - day by day. I love that.

    When I'm sure Mr. Right is Mr. Right I'll give him your helpful hints. : )

    By Blogger Angie, at 10:39 AM  

  • Congrats. It demands constant work and unending devotion, but nothing you can't handle.

    By Anonymous og, at 11:19 AM  

  • JB,

    It's good that you're feeling sassy about being betrothed. I think your attitude is what makes it work. And that's where your old friends will say "Damn, Phillip, you changed, man". You've become married guy and you like it. I would say you represent about 20-30 percent of married men, tops. And usually you all share the characteristic of feeling lucky that your wife said yes. You know that you're completely into your wife. You now feel like somebody loves you and it's something you never thought would happen.

    Consider yourself lucky. You've gotten the one woman who you think you can't do better than.

    Most married people aren't at your satisfaction level because most (60-70%) think that they can do better than their current spouse or think that they settled for the wrong person. Many do not feel that they are as lucky to have their spouse as you do. Most people probably won't admit it, but I think that dissatisfaction with your own poor choice accounts for more break-ups than anything else. It drives infidelity and causes stress. It's hard to give someone your all when you think you're getting a skimpy return on your efforts.

    That's why I'm not married. I haven't met the one woman who makes me want to give up all the others. If more people made that analysis abolut their other rather than feeling desperate about being alone, the divorce rate might drop back to 50% as opposed to 60%

    Congrats on finding the one, JB.

    By Anonymous Big Daddy, at 11:44 AM  

  • Congratulations, Mr & Mrs B! I'm generally uneasy when it comes to the idea of marriage, but I'm always happy to see someone making a successful go of it.

    By Blogger thirdworstpoetinthegalaxy, at 12:22 PM  

  • Happy Anniversary! Hope you and the Mrs. B. have a wonderful day Sunday, and many, many more.

    (And if it makes you feel a little bit better, I still have (What'd you call it?)... tiny "flashes of single-envy" even after almost 14 years, but I'd much prefer to be where I am.)

    By Blogger Freddie, at 1:12 PM  

  • Congratulations; I've been married almost 34 years, and have never regretted it.

    By Blogger BobG, at 2:03 PM  

  • Thanks all ((even you Big Daddy, for that wonderful backhanded compliment ;-)). We're looking forward to more and better.

    And Jay and QofD, I will offer Mrs. B the keys to this ship for one post only. Then I'm changing the passwords. Kidding. If she accepts, you guys'll see a post from her over the next few days (except Sunday).

    By Blogger James Burnett, at 2:42 PM  

  • Mrs Sarc and I are in our twenty-second year of bliss. Now THAT'S "settling down." Congratz, and I'm looking forward to the post by the bitter half.

    By Blogger The Sarcasticynic, at 7:44 AM  

  • damned spellcheck.

    By Blogger The Sarcasticynic, at 7:45 AM  

  • So sweet! Happy Happy and Many More!

    By Blogger Dayngr, at 10:14 PM  

  • Aww, so sweet! We can all only hope to find a good man that loves us as much as you do Mrs B. I hope to be reading about your 50th anniversary someday.


    By Blogger Balou, at 10:11 AM  

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