Karma needs to put up or shut up

Somebody hit my car...while it was parked...minding its own business. It likely happened yesterday afternoon or last evening. Front right fender. That's probably why I didn't see it right away.

Seven years I lived in the Upper Midwest, where six months out of the year people are sliding over the road 'cause it's covered in ice and slush and rock salt, where simply parking your car was like a surgical procedure 'cause you could easily hit a slick spot and bump the car next to you. And not once did I get a ding, dent, or scratch caused by another vehicle on my truck. Not once. What are the road and parking lot conditions down here? It rains sometimes.

I am pissed off. Do people not put notes under windshield wipers anymore? Wait. I'm in South Florida. It's stupid to ask questions you already know the answers to.

Seriously, this puts me in an arse-whipping mood. I think I might have to go to the gym later and strap on the gloves and the foot pads and beat a sparring partner like he stole something.

If that guy working the afternoon shift on the highway entrance ramp by the Herald is there when I leave today I might roll my window down and take change out of his cup.

My inconsiderate neighbor's yappy mutt that poops on other people's lawns and nips at other people's heels? I just might practice my field goal kicking this evening. I'll bet I could boot the neighbor a few feet off the ground. And that barking rat would at least make it over the roof line.

How could a place with so much sun and such easy access to the beach contain so many dregs?

Karma is not doing her job. She is asleep at the switch and needs to be either suspended or fired and replaced with some new cosmic force like, maybe, The Great Arse-whipper.

Some of these mouth breathers need to start making obvious payments for their callous treatment of other humans in this part of the country. I don't see payments being made. I see bad people getting away with bad behavior and carrying on, because Karma is not putting them in check.

If Karma doesn't start making these people pay and letting the rest of us see it, so we maintain some hope that there are such things as consequences then there will be a lot of William "D-fens" Fosters and a lot of Bruce Waynes (not the Saturday morning cartoon Bruce Wayne, but the original guy who became Batman because he was an angry, bitter, vengeful, near maniac) popping up.

No worries. I didn't like "Falling Down." And I don't think capes and rubber tights are my bag. Plus I'd be the crusading "hero" who got caught. And least you forget, I'm too pretty to go to jail.