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Burnett's Urban Etiquette

Wednesday, June 27, 2007

Larry King should retire

If you are in the TV news biz and reading this post right now, be ashamed.

I won't front. I watched Larry King's hour-long interview with a recently released convict tonight. And I watched it the way you watch the coroner's office workers gathering body parts scattered along the side of the road following a horrific accident. I wanted to see what would happen!

And while I did not expect the person being interviewed to offer anything of substance, I did expect Larry "King of the Broadcast Interview" King to at least ask the substantive questions.

Instead he spent an hour asking about how tough serving 23 days (in Los Angeles math; 20 - 21 in normal human math) was, asking several different ways if she had changed, asking generic questions about who the real convict is vs. what of her has been captured on amateur film, etc.

I'm still a relative pup, all things considered, but I remember the old days when Larry King was on the radio and would have also asked the following questions:
  • If you're so claustrophobic - the ailment you cited this evening to justify why you deserved to serve the balance of your sentence on house arrest - how can you tolerate driving around in small cars? Doesn't being closed inside a vehicle make you want to jump out at traffic signals and run down the street screaming and ripping your hair out?
  • Is it just me, or are you suggesting the greater wrong here was how much time you served, rather than your driving while (legally) intoxicated - the infraction that started this ball rolling in the first place?
  • You say you empathize now with people less fortunate than you. You have been captured on tape a number of times ridiculing the poor and calling friends, enemies, and your sister poor or something like that, as if it was an insult. How is that behavior empathetic?
  • You've vehemently denied that you are a racist, and yet you've been captured on tape a number of times referring scornfully to specific black people as niggers and even calling your friends that word while laughing hysterically. Based on those tapes, why should we believe you are not a racist?
  • Other than pay taxes and occasionally handing out dough to a panhandler, name one socially redeeming act you have committed in the eight years since you became a legal adult.
  • I asked you to offer something about you don't like, and you answered that your voice gets high and squeaky when you're nervous. That's it? There's nothing about your public behavior or your character that could stand a little improvement?
  • You made a sex tape with a boyfriend a few years ago, which, after the two of you reportedly broke up, he sold on the Internet. Is it true that you split the profits with him? Regardless, was it tough after that to look into the faces of young girls at your book signings and public appearances and hand them autographed pictures of yourself? That's the act of a role model - a person exhibiting model behavior. Do you think you were responsible enough then to present yourself as a role model?

I miss the old Larry.

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30 Comments:

  • i miss this. this eloquence of yours that you guillotine the rest of the media world with. do you have a single brother? haha. :-)

    By Blogger cucuclaire, at 12:43 AM  

  • Did you think he looked like a Hyena?

    Thats the 2nd time in my life I've watched him. My hubby turned it on - and I was sewing buttons on a shirt and couldn't move out of the room (good enough excuse?)

    My first exposure to Hilton, too.
    She is pretty. And she was very well coached.

    By Blogger Pamela, at 2:47 AM  

  • What does this sort of interview - which I haven't seen, but can guess by your questions & reaction - say about America today?

    Now I know Americans aren't all success/celebrity/fame fixated & about as deep as a puddle on a hot day, but boy does it look like it sometimes. & you know the worst thing? It gets exported/imported over here & then we Brits get to look like it too!

    By Anonymous bronchitikat, at 6:36 AM  

  • Things are pretty sad when she leans on the bible yet cannot recite a passage from it....she makes me sad..sad for her because she is so fake..see, money is not everything is it?

    By Blogger Cazzie!!!, at 8:47 AM  

  • That's why she agreed to go on his show, her handlers know Larry Kings' brain retired many years ago.

    By Blogger Angie, at 9:15 AM  

  • The person mentioned went on the King show for the reasons you stated: King is going to offer up sloppy, dripping soft balls.

    23 days in that facility with the special treatment that person received? yeah...what's next? A book deal? My Life Behind Bars?

    So if not Larry, then who? Certainly not Barbara Walters. Dear God, how about the ladies from the View? Or, since she's a product of FOX culture, throw her to the Fox vultures. I would have enjoyed seeing OReilly having at her. Although I know he's too lecherous and would only have pandered. So, maybe Gibson or Wallace. Neither are real journalists, but then neither is King.

    By Blogger Stewart Sternberg, at 9:19 AM  

  • It has to be no accident that South Park (again) ran the Paris Hilton/Stupid Whore episode last night.

    At least one show is getting it right, even if it is a cartoon.

    By Blogger SWF41, at 9:59 AM  

  • What, no query as to why she's so Paris-ilicious??

    By Blogger The Sarcasticynic, at 10:08 AM  

  • Okay - time for you to apply for Larry's job. And of course, it wasn't freakin' LIVE...it was all taped beforehand. Is that not CRAZY? I think Larry sold out for ratings, and I was disappointed as well.

    By Blogger Tiggerlane, at 11:27 AM  

  • You should take Larry's job when he croaks.

    By Blogger Hammer, at 11:43 AM  

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    By Blogger Eugene, at 12:32 PM  

  • I wouldn't be surprised if he wasn't handed a list of questions that he was allowed to ask; and noncompliance would mean she wouldn't appear. Glad I missed it.

    By Blogger BobG, at 1:26 PM  

  • I rolled pass the interview as I was looking for Law and Order: CI anyhwhere in Cable World lol

    Didn't even try to stop, I knew it would be fluff. You're right, King used to actually interview people, now he allows folks to come on and promote themselves.

    I remember his interview with

    By Anonymous DJ Black Adam, at 2:03 PM  

  • I remember his interview with Traci Lords, he treated her with no respect, and she, unlike Paris Hilton actually had a HARD LIFE, and was deserving of some compasion as she had come through many hard ordeals...harder than 21 days in a county jail for certain.

    By Anonymous DJ Black Adam, at 2:05 PM  

  • What a waste of oxygen, both of them. Larry King lost my respect when he started pandering to Sylvia Brown.

    I wish I had known about the South Park episode, now that would have been worth watching!

    By Blogger fiwa, at 2:08 PM  

  • AMEN to the suggestions you listed that LK should have asked! That interview - the maybe 2-3 minutes I watched was so bland, even my grandson's baby rice cereal has more punch to it than did that piece of crapola! It's things like that, kid glove handling, etc, that gives that much more impetus to those who THINK they warrant so much in the special treatment department. I'm all for you moving up and taking LK's place too!

    By Blogger Jeni, at 2:34 PM  

  • Could you interview her for your paper? Seriously.

    By Blogger thirdworstpoetinthegalaxy, at 2:52 PM  

  • This comment has been removed by the author.

    By Blogger Jay, at 5:02 PM  

  • started to watch the interview but couldn't bring myself to do it.

    But, I would disagree with you on something. I don't think Larry King has ever been anything other than a softball tosser. He's never been one to ask deep probing questions and he's had people even less important than Paris on his show.

    His shows, even all the way back in his late night radio days have always included a consierable amount of fluff.

    Yes, he's had world leaders and top gov't officials on in the past and will again in the future. But, he's never been Edward R. Murrow by any stretch of the imagination.

    By Blogger Jay, at 5:07 PM  

  • When Larry asked her about the cavity search, she said it was the most humiliating moment in her life.

    ...uh, so having a sex tape released is *not* the most humiliating moment?

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 5:08 PM  

  • You realize that King paid her to come on his show first. and that she will pick up over a million between him and a book she is supposed to write.

    By Blogger The CEO, at 9:56 PM  

  • Foudn this today

    'Will you burn this for me please' - newsreader Mika Brzezinski tries to ignite script about Paris Hilton's release

    Thought you might like it!

    By Anonymous bronchitikat, at 6:39 AM  

  • Why did you expect substantive questions?

    By Blogger mist1, at 6:41 AM  

  • GREAT questions, JB! Yeah, Larry has definitely lost his "edge" (if he ever had it). I just wish Paris would drop off the face of the earth, she is such a waste of oxygen!

    By Blogger Balou, at 10:08 AM  

  • The old Larry would never have interviewed the trollop in the first place.

    By Blogger Queen of Dysfunction, at 11:29 AM  

  • Agreed, it was expecting a LOT more.

    By Blogger Winter, at 12:48 PM  

  • paris who?

    i rest my case...i've taken my lead from james...as in, she who will not be named not to mention, larry king has been over for a long time, i mean, sugar, when the best thing known about your provocative journalism is your suspenders?

    next

    By Blogger savannah, at 1:12 PM  

  • Most excellent questions that weren't asked James. Gee. Surprise.

    By Anonymous Kim, at 9:15 PM  

  • It seems Michael Moore was bumped for Paris instead. I miss the old Larry King too. In fact I miss real news or rather the idea I was watching real news.

    By Blogger My Reflecting Pool, at 5:35 PM  

  • I agreed and I laughed...

    wife.imp is still laughing

    By Blogger dennis, at 8:57 PM  

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