Quick Hits

Morning, my friends. Hope your weekend was pleasant. Mind unfolded swimmingly. Mrs. B and I celebrated our second wedding anniversary. And while it was low key and simple, it was also very, very fun. I'm looking forward to number three.

Anyway, back to reality.

• I saw that the D.C. pants judge lost his $54 million case against his dry cleaners. Hopefully that will bring about some judicial reform. Hopefully people who sit hot cups of coffee between their legs and then drive fast over speed bumps will no longer be able to sue for burnt crotches. Hopefully people whose cholesterol goes through the roof after they eat CrackRonald's three times a day seven days a week won't be able to sue CrackRonald's for their bad fat addiction. Buuuuuuuuut, hopefully small businesses like dry cleaners won't take advantage of "nobody's perfect" and begin using it as a cop out for shoddy service. That's no good either. It doesn't warrant frivolous lawsuits. But it doesn't help.
• I just backed out of an offer to help a friend of a friend get his Web site launched. The friend of my friend wanted me to proof read his content and give him tips on presentation. I didn't mind. But the friend of my friend started getting snarky with me. Condescending. Talking down to me. Berating me. Lecturing me on how the media operates. So I told him he could go and love himself with a rusty pipe...and then get no tetanus shot afterwards. He didn't understand. So for him and anyone else out there asking to "borrow" another person's "expertise (yes, I use that word loosely)" for free, don't be mean to people who agree to help you. You will burn all sorts of bridges that way. Now, my friend feels burned, because he knows his buddy pissed me off. And if his buddy - the friend of my friend - ever asks for my help again I won't even consider it. He blew it.
• I'm just wondering, who are the 5,000-plus people who sent fan mail to the jailbird heiress in the L.A. County lockup? How old were they? And if they were minors, how hard should their parents be slapped for allowing those letters to be sent to her? Sending that mail is like giving your puppy a Scooby Snack every time he craps on the living room carpet.
• As per some of your requests, we hope to have Mrs. B do a guest post on Friday, maybe Saturday.

quick hits

• Bad suit - Did you hear about the judge in Washington D.C. who is suing his dry cleaner for $65 million, after they lost his pants? Roy Pearson, an administrative law judge in the District, sued Jin Nam & Ki Chung, South Korean immigrants, who like the rest of us are just trying to make a dollar out of 15 cents. The Chungs misplaced pants that belonged to a $1,000 suit Pearson had. They found the pants a few days later. But he no longer wanted them. He wanted damages for having to find a new dry cleaner that he could trust, for having to rent a car a couple times a month for years to come and drive to that new dry cleaner (the Chungs are apparently responsible for making sure Pearson has a dry cleaner within walking distance of his home.). He wanted damages for the Chungs not meeting their "same day" guarantee. The list goes on. Somehow this chowder head came up with $65 million worth of damages done to him over the temporary misplacement of his pants. Now the Chungs, who are out big bucks on legal fees, are so down about this, they may close up shop and head back to South Korea. Damn shame, and abuse of knowledge. I say knowledge, instead of power 'cause Pearson doesn't necessarily have authority over the Chungs, but he's sure using his knowledge of the law to stick 'em. Not only should Pearson not get a penny, he should be forced to take back his found pants and where them every single day for the next few years. Then Mrs. Chung should get to take off her heaviest, clunkiest shoe and beat Pearson with it. This kind of lawsuit is like crying wolf. It's abuse of the system, and by a judge no less. Shame on him.
• Apples and oranges - So former New Jersey governor Jim McGreevy, who left office in a little bit of disgrace after announcing in '04 that he'd cheated on his wife and had appointed his fling to a high-ranking position in Jersey state government, has joined the Episcopal church and entered a pre-seminary state, with apparent intentions to get eventually get his divinity degree. No word on whether he will seek ordination and become a priest. A few pundits are lashing him from both sides of the political spectrum, partly because he cheated with a man. But I honestly don't care if McGreevy's gay. Don't care if he's straight. What bugs me about this whole thing is when he made the announcement way back when about his fling he emphatically stated that he was a "gay American," as though his orientation was causing the outrage. It was disingenuous. To make his issues about being gay/straight is to take away from real fights for fairness that other gay people are engaged in. McGreevy's problem on the personal side of things was that he was a cheat. And on the professional side he was untrustworthy 'cause he let a sexual fling so affect his judgment that he gave that person a security-sensitive job in his government. Even if he had cheated with a woman he would still have been a cheat with bad judgment. McGreevy wrote a book after he left office, and among other things he stated that his wife knew all along - even before they wed - that he was gay. She says he's lying, that she never knew, and that she never would have married him if she had known. He's already shown his stripes as a cheater who doesn't mind a little nepotism. So I give her the benefit of doubt, and that leads to my next question: if he does decide to become a priest, is McGreevy gonna at least express some sorrow for what his wife had to go through after he crashed and burned? Aren't clergy supposed to be compassionate folks?