The Rap on Congress

I was hoping to go to bed this evening having tasted a good laugh for dessert.

My wish has come true. I'll be turning in, in a few minutes. But first, I was thrilled to find updated news reports about a U.S. Congressional committee holding hearings on scary, scary rap music lyrics.

That's right. These numbnuts whom we elected to administer the law, measure the effectiveness of law, when necessary write new law, defend the citizenry, preserve our good legal traditions, adjust or eliminate our bad ones, and preserve our basic freedoms, are holding hearings on sexism, racism, and violence in rap music lyrics.

Here's the thing: go back and read the past year-and-a-half's worth of archives. You'll find at least a half dozen posts in which I blasted gangsta rappers, and bling rappers for making violent or plain old stupid tunes with no substance and helping to pollute mushy minds. But the way to fix the "problem" of violent, vile, or just plain stupid lyrics is to raise your kids in a way that they understand most professional "pop" musicians are lucky morons who periodically stumble across catchy melodies, not people to take behavior lessons from. Congress can pass don't ask, don't tell. They need to consider don't like, don't buy.

So unless Congress is planning on doing away with the 1st Amendment, they have no business doing anything with rap except bobbing their heads to it or rolling their car windows up when they hear it.

We have citizens compelled to take out second mortgages on their homes in order to supplement half-assed medical insurance, while non-citizens who can't afford insurance can get treatment in many cases without fear of receiving a collections notice in the mail. We have local municipalities laying off police officers, because they can't afford to continue regular garbage pickup and pay for cops too without raising tax levies so high as to force homeowners to flee. We have a war going on in another country that is costing more than $1 billion a month to run. We have troops fighting that war without adequate equipment or supplies. We have such a level of poverty in this country that maintaining the status quo instead of helping people learn to support themselves has become a government industry. We have a municipal and circuit court system in such disarray that three people of identical age, with identical backgrounds, and identical records, can get arrested and charged with identical offenses at the same time under identical circumstances in separate locations and all face drastically different punishments if convicted. We have public schools in some areas that are asking students to share textbooks, because there aren't enough to go around. We have sanctions in place against countries whose governments made our (poop) list, because they treat their citizens badly, but we trade with China, a country that brought us the greatest weight loss plan ever: getting run over by a tank in Tienanmen Square, and whose next built-for-America toy line will likely include shrink-wrapped rusty nails, bags of broken glass, and the hottest new board game -Bobbing for Used Hypodermic Needles. We can send people into space, and we have billion dollar satellites that can zoom in on a license plate from beyond the stars. And yet, we can't find Osama bin Laden.

And - drum roll, please - we have Congressmen admittedly calling prostitution services and allegedly trawling the ho' stroll for companionship. We have wide-stanced Congressmen accidentally, possibly, maybe trying to solicit sex in public bathrooms. We have Congressmen accepting freezers full of cash from undercover federal agents offering fake bribes. We have Congressmen driving drunk, doing drugs, and engaging in sex talk with minors.

Yes, these Titans of honesty, good sense, and morality are here for you, people. On your behalf they intend to find out where exactly you can find "California love," what exactly "ain't nothin' but a G-thang," how exactly "endo" is smoked, whether there are really "hos in different area codes," exactly what cut Congress gets of the "money on (our) minds," and whether or not "fallin' back on that ass with a hellified gangsta lean" is truly similar to "getting funky on the mīc like an old batch of collard greens."

Your tax dollars at work.

Saturday Roundup

OK, I can admit that I contributed to the stupid media frenzy about that skank-arsed jailbird out in Cali we've all been obsessing over.

But all jokes aside, the Miami Herald crime reporter's blog offers a jaw-dropping - or what should be jaw dropping - example of broadcast media - 'cause like it or not cable news networks do tend to be more in-your-face over "prominent" people news - having seriously messed up priorities. Click on the link. But in case you don't feel like it, here's the abbreviated version: A young, recent college grad, aiming to start a career in law enforcement or as an attorney, by all accounts a nice person with socially-redeeming qualities, has been missing in Miami since Memorial Day weekend. Authorities fear foul play. One cable news network invited two Herald reporters on to talk about the case and spread the word in case anyone was a witness to whatever happened to her. In both cases, the network canceled the interview at the last second 'cause they wanted to dedicate virtually every second of their air time to news about that celebutant jailbird. Anyway, click the link. It's a more thorough explanation.

And speaking of abuse of the law, that numbnut attorney/admin judge in Washington D.C. has decided to no longer sue his former dry cleaner for $65 million for losing his pants and apparently scarring him for life...He has reduced the amount of his suit to $54 million, saying now his suit is focused on fraud by the dry cleaner for posting signs guaranteeing satisfaction to customers.

In less serious news, here is my article from today's paper.

Pop quiz: are we hypocrites or not? That's too vague. How's this - are you a fan of The Sopranos? I am. I'm a huge fan. OK, now this - do you find gangsta rap, which thrives on rhyming about street grime and street crime as folklore, to be distasteful? I do. It disgusts me that anyone would sing/rap about robberies, cons, drug deals gone bad, strippers, murders, prostitution, and so on, and call it just entertainment and defend it as musical poetry chronicling what really happens in depressed communities. And yet, in this final season of the show I have really been into from its first year, I have witnessed at least five murders and not been fazed by them. I have watched strippers (on the show) do their thing and not been fazed by it. I have watched violent assaults and thefts take place and have not been fazed by them. I have watched drug use and not blinked an eye. Why? Because I found each episode of the show entertaining. So if the same negative elements are "described" through lyrics/dialogue and verbal/visual imagery in each forum - premium cable television and commercial music production - why is one more acceptable as entertainment and the other slammed as an irresponsible use of the air waves? In theory aren't they both "outrageous?" I admit it. I am a hypocrite.

Finally, if you're bored or need a laugh you can watch me on TV. I was a panelist Friday night on Issues, a current events round table show WPBT Channel 2, the PBS affiliate station, here in the Miami area. It re-runs Sunday at 12:30 in the afternoon, but why wait? Click the link above and then click the link on the upper righthand side of the page that says "Watch last week's program." It's a 30 minute show. The round table is the second segment - starts about 14 minutes and 50 seconds in. Enjoy. Or if you don't, don't tell me. I'm very sensitive about my shiny nose and funny voice.

OK, that's all for me, at least for this afternoon. I have a pond to clean and a lawn to maintain.

Peace and hair grease.