Michael Vick is a skinny blond addict

It's official now, or will be in a few days: Michael Vick is guilty. Sort of. So feel free to bash him now.

He's poised to cop pleas next week to some wrong doing, but in the usual manner curiously reserved for people who can afford the best attorneys, it appears he won't actually have to plead guilty to the worst of what he was accused of - dog fighting, dog murder, etc. It looks like he'll get to plead to something like conspiracy, and violating interstate commerce laws, etc.

Maybe he'll get a year-and-a-half in prison, maybe a little more, maybe less. One thing's for sure. He'll serve a lot less time than if he wasn't rich and famous and hadn't had the best lawyers arguing on his behalf. The rich and famous part wouldn't be as relevant if it wasn't tied to the best (meaning high-priced) lawyers part. But who are we kidding? It would have been refreshing to see him step up and say "I did it. I didn't think about the harm, the foul, etc. But I did it. I allowed dog-fighting and executions to go on on my property. I watched the fights. I gave money to finance the fights and back the gambling element of it....I was wrong. No excuses. I'll take my lumps." To be fair though, in his position I guess I'd have tried to get a deal too. I'm pretty sure I'm not noble.

So anyway, Michael Vick has become Paris Hilton. Actually he has become Nicole Richie. Lindsay Lohan. He is rich and famous and has managed to secure a fraction of the punishment his behavior calls for. He has become another symbol of irresponsible privilege getting away with "murder." What the hell? Do you have to eat a live baby on a plate made from endangered elephant tusks to actually get a substantial punishment if you're young, rich, and famous in this country? If I ever decide to misuse the great pimp-slap of justice I'm either gonna go to Los Angeles to do it or I'll try out for a pro sports team. That way I'll be assured at least a ticker tape parade on my way into jail and on my way back out an hour-and-a-half later.

Thank God I'm unable - and unwilling to try - to picture Michael Vick in high heels, drunk, with a breast accidentally falling out of his shirt, or a drawerless butt cheek peeking out from under his skirt, or crack rocks falling out of his pocket, or crashing his car into a tree, or speeding with his lights off the wrong way up a one-way street.

But he is now a member of the sisterhood. He is a Lohan, a Richie, a Hilton. Even after he gets out of prison (if he goes). I'll never look at Vick the same again, because he'll look like a skinny blond woman to me.

Pimp slapped - the large hand of responsibility

Today was a good day. I had a lot of reporting to do. I've been chasing down folks all week for articles I'm trying to wrap up.

But today I also had a non-journalism task. Today I took the first step in keeping with my call to arms last month and filed a civil claim against a contractor who did work on my house, caused damage during the process, and then declined to fix it appropriately.

Now, old James - James from a few years ago - might have weighed the pros and cons, reasoned to himself "Hmmm, they did the work. So they caused a few nicks and dings along the way. Let's let it go. Let bygones be bygones."

In other words I would have downplayed the contractor's irresponsibility, paid him what he demanded, while at the same time eating the cost of the damage he caused, and quietly and humbly withdrawn to my space.

Not anymore. I'm looking to smack him with the Pimp Hand of the Law and take a chunk out of his behind, 'cause if he's not going to willingly be responsible I'm gonna force him to own up to his mistakes and responsibilities...at least those where my house is concerned.

Remember, folks, we'll never compel the numbnuts of the world to straighten up and fly right and pull their weight and not do harm to the rest of us if we don't make 'em.

I've taken step one. I can't wait for step two. That contractor better hope we don't take this before Judge Mathis or Judge Judy.

Another bummer

I know it's not very Christmas-like of me to present downers right about now, but Wednesday night another teenager down here was gunned down in a drive-by.

Sixteen-year-old Mike Barjon was killed hanging out with a friend about a block from his mom's home.

Big Daddy, you may want to stop reading here, 'cause you're gonna call me mean. But I was watching a TV report on the shooting last night and the Ken Doll said "this community wants it to stop," in reference to the neighborhood where the shooting took place.

Sorry, I gotta disagree. You know who wants these murders to stop? The families of the victims, and the old folks who bought homes in the neighborhood decades ago and have tried to maintain the place.

The community as a whole does not want these murders to stop. "The" community may not want the murders to happen, but "the" community is not doing anything to make them stop. I know this because someone - many folks, probably - knows who pulled the trigger on this latest killing. And you know what? They won't tell. They will not turn the shooter in.

And it will happen again. And people will stick their heads in the sand and they won't turn the shooter(s) in.

When I covered crime, it never ceased to amaze me that in the most war torn neighborhoods some people would protect violent criminals with the same ferocity that good parents protect their children.

I understand that some of that was about self-preservation: people so scared of the bad guys that they look out for the bad guys in the hopes the bad guys will spare them once the police leave the neighborhood.

But if collectively whole neighborhoods teamed up and turned the bad guys in, who are the bad guys gonna turn on? I say no one. If they know the neighborhood as a single entity isn't scared of them they're not gonna terrorize one person as payback. They'll move on - unfortunately, to another neighborhood where most of the residents are still scared.

Can't Bite My Tongue

I have a confession to make. I am stubborn. There are times I'd rather bite my tongue than speak up and give "an enemy" a chance to say "I told you so!"

This is one of those times, but I can't bite my tongue. Wouldn't be right. Recently, I took to task another South Florida Blogger, for making what I felt were broad generalizations about black people. He scolded "the" black community, as though we were all of one mind and one voice, for focusing on the wrong issue in a recent series of fatal police shootings (of five suspects - four black, one white) in Fort Lauderdale. He said that instead of berating police, the families and friends of the suspects should look inside and ask how their young men ended up in face-offs with police, while: driving a car-jacked vehicle, carrying weapons, and allegedly ramming cars and nearly striking officers.

The funny thing is no one asked me my opinion. And that's the problem with broad generalizations. People with differing opinions count for nothing, because they're cast in giant groups, rather than as individuals.

But let's move beyond that. I think the guy I scolded had the right idea, even if he was wrong in how he addressed people.

You want to investigate the police shootings - as is being done now by state and federal authorities, go ahead. There's nothing wrong with a check and balance system to make sure that all the i's were dotted and t's crossed and that these shootings were righteous.

But let's also at least ask how most of these men ended up going down self-destructive paths long before the shootings. One man had a record of drug and assault violations. Had anyone close to him who is lamenting the shootings now encouraged him recently to clean his life up? I'm not saying they didn't. I'm just asking. But I dare anyone to tell me with a straight face that if he had gone down a different path when he was younger he still would have ended up in a stolen, car-jacked vehicle with police in his face. Anything's possible. But the odds are high he wouldn't have been in that situation.

It's not the PC thing to say, but if you don't ride around in cars that have been jacked your chances of ending up in a deadly conflict with police are much lower. If you don't refuse to drop the weapon - that you probably shouldn't be carrying in the first place - your chances of ending up in a deadly conflict with police are much lower. If you place your car in park, rather than continuing to drive after after officers tell you to stop, your chances of ending up in a deadly conflict with police are much lower.

I'm not suggesting anyone deserved to be shot. That's nuts. I'm just saying these guys' troubles did not start with being shot. It's about time people acknowledge that the path we choose (or get put on, or are led down) when we're young can lead to dire consequences later in life.

Here's my attempt at logic: When I was younger, the adults in my life - and not just my parents, for those people who didn't have one or both parents - would have beaten me like I stole something if I...stole something, robbed someone, etc. They would've beaten me like Orphan Annie if they'd found out I had even considered that stuff. Fast-forward to today. Because I was effectively discouraged from criminal behavior when I was younger, the odds are high that I'm gonna try to avoid it today.

This isn't a black thing. It's a home training thing. A personal responsibility thing. A choices thing.

Investigate the shootings. If they were dirty, then make the cops pay. And if they were clean then put that energy into steering impressionable boys in the right direction before they grow up and become troubled or troublesome men.