Random Saturday Crap

• So I'm over the flu bug today (been trying to shake it for two days), so the wife and I decided to go to the Broward Humane Society for a kitten to keep our old dog company, 'cause we know that while he has no patience for puppies he's OK with cats. I am hoping that none of the buddies I grew up with read this, 'cause we all made fun of cat owners when I was young. I don't remember why exactly. I think we might've just assumed back then that cat owners were all dirt-eating, job-fearing hippies. Plus, everyone has a story about scary dogs from when they were kids. Not me. I never had a cross conversation with a pooch. But I was attacked by a cat when I was like nine. I swear, I'll never forget it. I was walking down the street about two blocks from home, lickin' a popsicle, and from the side of a neighbor's porch came this cat at about 100 miles an hour. He took a flying leap, teeth bared, claws bared, and tore my arms up. I may have been a 9-year-old boy, but I'm sure I screamed like an 8-year-old girl, tossed the popsicle and ran home. I don't know if the cat pursued me, 'cause I didn't look back. You may laugh. I did years later, but that cat scratched me up pretty badly and left me bleeding. Now, I am old. And I get sort of envious in a fun non-hater sort of way when I'm at other friends' homes and see their cats romping around. What happened to me?
• Pop quiz: When do you say excuse me, before or after you bang into someone in a narrow aisle? Answer - after if your collision is accidental, BEFORE, however, if you saw the other person in time to avoid them. Unfortunately, the woman who rammed me w/her cart inside the pet store today didn't get that. I felt a cart in my rear, turned and looked up and she's standing there smirking at me. Then she says "excuse me" in the tone of voice that translates into "Well, I'm trying to get by. What do you expect?"
• Could the same local police agencies that are cracking down on people who block intersections so they won't miss green lights, please start ticketing numbnuts who think turn signals are recommendations? I lost count of the number of break slams I had to do in order to avoid hitting sudden-turners-with-no-signals in front of me.

PS. Tomorrow is Sunday. Can we get a nomination or two for the Weekly Behavior Awards? Best Behavior and Biggest Bum are the categories. Any act of incredible jerkiness and bad behavior or any act of incredible kindness/good behavior qualify.