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Burnett's Urban Etiquette

Tuesday, August 01, 2006

Breaking (Funny) Bad News

A friend emailed me about her cousin having a bad date experience.

The cousin went out with a guy, who mauled her at the conclusion of the date. Not literally. I don't believe he scratched her up and bit her, though that may have been a better ending.

Instead he tried to kiss her. Well, he didn't try. He succeeded, but according to my friend that would depend on your definition of a kiss. If it includes slathering saliva on the other person's face, as your out of control lips and tongue do a tango, then he hit a home run, she says her cousin told her.

Her question: Her cousin liked the guy up until that point and most certainly would not have minded a smooch had he delivered a good one. But the bad kiss was a turnoff. So what should she (the cousin) do?

I'm no Ann Landers (thank you very much, Big Daddy). But I say if she dug the guy that much, teach him the right way, the way that doesn't include leaving slobber all over the other person's face. So next time he tries - assuming he gets a next time, guide him through the process. Guys, women tend to be better at these things than us, anyway. On the other hand, if the botched kiss was that much of a turnoff decline a second date, citing incompatibility, leave it at that and move on. A third option, if she thinks the guy has a thick skin, is to just tell him that lip-locking is an exercise he's no good at. And he needs help that she is willing to give.

But none of that ducking his overtures and hiding from his calls. That's what amateurs do.


  • So just tell himm he's a bad kisser. And she can teach him how not to be. If he's worth hanging on to, he'll understand- and go for it. If not, then better off without him.

    Like that scene in "thje Jerk" where Steve slathers his tongue all over Bernadette Peter's face. Gross.

    By Anonymous og, at 1:09 PM  

  • I agree with you. Give the guy another chance. If the only thing that threw off a great date was a bad kiss, she might be bypassing the frog that could turn into Prince Charming.

    Have her take the lead next time it's the kiss moment. He could probably learn a lot from her.

    By Anonymous Tonya, at 3:58 PM  

  • A second chance is definitely in order!

    By Blogger Manola Blablablanik, at 5:48 PM  

  • Give the guy another chance. I'm sure there will be more opportunities in the future to correct sloppy behavior as well.

    By Blogger The Sarcasticynic, at 9:15 PM  

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