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Burnett's Urban Etiquette

Monday, October 16, 2006

You Just Can't Make this Stuff Up

Spotted Sunday afternoon, while the wife and I were in Target (remember, that's pronounced Tar-Zhay if you're buying furniture): A woman walking around in a bulletproof vest.

I swear, a bulletproof vest. I have my wife as a witness.

And no, this woman wasn't an undercover cop, 'cause nothing else she was wearing could've concealed a firearm. And if she was undercover, wouldn't she have wanted to be a little less conspicuous? Maybe wear the vest under the shirt?

I don't know. But I made a point to steer a wide birth around this woman.

If your enemies are so hardcore that you feel the need to wear body armor to Target, I don't want to be anywhere near you. A bullet could come whizzing down the linens aisle at any minute.

And here's the kicker: no one else seemed to notice or care that this woman had on a flak jacket.

Only in South Florida.


  • Me thinks the woman took the name of the store a bit too seriously.


    By Anonymous Rick, at 6:11 AM  

  • It was probably just a misguided fashion statement. Apparently raid vests are the latest thing, taking the faux military look a step beyond camo pattern clothing and surplus BDUs. I'm sure the police are highly amused by these urban geurillas of high fashion.

    By Blogger NicFitKid, at 6:35 AM  

  • You just can't say enough about the influence that $0.50 has had on popular culture. First Thug Life, now slug-proofs.

    You know, those vests are terribly poor at preventing knots on the head as a result of pistol-whipping or kneecap shots. In fact, they limit the wearer's mobility and his or her ability to flee and evade.

    Just thought you all may like to know that. Don't ask me how I know.

    By Anonymous Big Daddy, at 3:42 PM  

  • Just the sexiest thing to wear with a pair of Manolo Blahniks!

    By Blogger Manola Blablablanik, at 4:56 PM  

  • I'm willing to bet she didn't even have a clue as to what she was actually wearing.

    By Blogger Tere, at 11:38 AM  

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