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Burnett's Urban Etiquette

Tuesday, November 07, 2006

It really isn't that thin

You know that "fine line between faith and foolishness" I'm always ranting about? Check out its broader, thicker cousin, a line so wide you can lay on it and wrap yourself up in it.


  • That's got to happen pretty often, but don't they say that if you are cool with god the snakes don't bite? I know I'd bite the bitch if she was wavin' me around and makin' me nauseous.

    By Blogger Fathairybastard, at 1:24 AM  

  • To Fathairybastard. Pretty much you have it right. There is the belief that if your faith is strong enough you need not fear the serpent's bite. Living near where this occurred I can assure you that those who handle snakes really do believe that they will not die. Not to say that I believe in their particular form of worship, which is not legal in this state. And, I am sure the snake was pretty mad. I don't understand this particular religous group, or many of the more fundamental groups in the area, but who are we to judge. Maybe we should applaud them for being so sure of their faith. I will say this in their support (sortof). At least they keep to themselves and pretty much nobody is bothered by them, which is more than I can say for the ones who showed up in my grandmothers nursing home room to lay hands on her roommate to heal her. Screeching and yelling began followed by speaking in tongues. These people think nothing of coming into your place of business and laying hands on you to help your aching back. Now that is scary. There are many fundamental sects here and more churches per capita than anyplace I have ever been. If they play with snakes they play with snakes, but unless one of them gets bitten they stay out of your face. I just wish the snakes could get a clue and stay the hell away from them - a lot less dead snakes that way.

    And there you are!

    By Anonymous llh, at 8:38 PM  

  • So, can someone explain to me why snake handling is illegal? It seems like an excellent method of lifeguarding the gene pool.

    By Blogger QofD, at 9:40 PM  

  • I don't blame the snake one bit. People are nuts. I mean, have your beliefs, sure, but don't cross that big, wide line that divides kinda kooky and full-on nuts.

    By Blogger Melissa, at 10:22 PM  

  • didja (isnt my english good? lol) ever see that episode of the simpsons where Homer makes his own religion? He's sittin at the bar MOE'S and offers Moe to join up to his new religion.
    "Sorry Homer. I was born a Snake Handler, and I'm gonna die a Snake Handler"

    this puts a whole new perspective on that comment. geez.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 9:19 AM  

  • Good thing the Scripture doesn't say "They will take up Hydrogen Bombs and the Lord will protect them." 'Cause then we'd pretty much all be screwed when the next Big-Tent Revival Meeting came along...

    By Blogger Elisson, at 11:19 AM  

  • Now hold on a second. I'm from Kentucky; these are my people you are disrespecting here. And by Jebus, if anyone is going to disrespect them, it's going to be me!

    Buncha damned inbred backwoods yokels down to their last fistful of humanoid chromosomes and two generations from being extras in a Wes Craven film. Damned copperheads and cottonmouths have more brains than those folks, and a damned sight less animal cunning or they wouldn't'a got caught. I wouldn't want those mouth-breathers handling me, either, but I'd do worse than bite 'em.

    They do grow some fine weeds up in the woods, though, yessir they do.

    *deep breath* Okay, I feel better now.

    By Blogger mkh, at 11:49 AM  

  • Yeah, I gotta say that I agree with the natural gene pool thinning theory.

    This is bizarre.

    And Ellison, you're right. If bomb handling was the thing to demonstrate instead, "faith" would kill us all.

    By Blogger James Burnett, at 1:50 AM  

  • You know what comes to mind, James? Some verse about not putting the Lord your God to the test!

    Silly woman, & those who regularly try out such things.

    By Anonymous bronchitikat, at 7:14 AM  

  • OK MJH and James

    I happen to be sitting in the mountains of Kentucky right now, and I deal with these inbred mutants every day. Some are quite bright, and don't even ask how I ended up back here. To Yasamin, your spelling of the local work didja is correct. It goes along with howzat and momanim. To anwer the question as to why it is illegal to handle snakes, I have no idea. Guess the state was trying to save the foolish, or may be save the snakes.

    It is a strange, beautiful place to be, but a hard adjustment after being away for many years. It is somewhat like stepping back in time.

    By Anonymous llh(laura), at 8:56 AM  

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