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Burnett's Urban Etiquette

Wednesday, January 10, 2007

Another sign of graying

I just got a new cell phone and all I've done is make calls with it and set up the email system.

Trust me. That is significant. My wife believes it's a sign that I'm finally maturing in the tech/toy arena.

There was a time not so long ago after purchasing a new cell phone that I would have immediately gone online and found stupid ringers to download - some stupid tune (on my last phone, the first thing I did was download Eye of the Tiger - I know, I'm a dork), or the voices of Homer Simpson or Stewie Griffin.

There was the Isley Brothers' "Between the Sheets (or the Notorious B.I.G.'s "Big Poppa, depends on who's listening), and Ludacris' "Roll Out." Some song by Aerosmith - can't remember which. I even had Timmy from South Park saying "Timmy!"

But I have grown up. When my new toy got charged up the other day, I learned how to use it...and that's all. Now when it rings, it's the stupid Cingular corporate tone. But you know what? I'm too old to care.

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  • I like the ones that actually sound like a phone ringing!! Drrrring! Drrrrring! And I don't have it... :(

    By Blogger Claudia, at 1:25 PM  

  • I have AC/DC 'Shook Me All Night Long' and 'Back in Black' on mine. My salute to my youth.

    By Blogger Christina_the_wench, at 1:58 PM  

  • My friend has Steve Harvey as a ringtone. It screams at her to pick up the phone. I want her to grow up. Mine clucks like a chicken.

    By Blogger mist1, at 2:09 PM  

  • I have four different ringtones for four types of callers...all set up by my 13-year old (after I've owned the phone for 2 years).

    "London Bridge" by Fergie, "Golddigger" by Kanye West, "Milkshake" by Kelis, and something that has "Snap" in the title by Lil Jon.

    Took me forever to learn texting. I can't even begin to figure out the new phone my daughter got - I feel very old.

    By Blogger Tiggerlane, at 4:21 PM  

  • You are one of them now.

    By Blogger Winter, at 4:27 PM  

  • You know it's coming so here it is.

    Do you use garters to hold up those black socks you wear with your shorts and sandals on the beach or are they knee-hi's?

    Before you declare yourself a Trix-are-for-kids grownup, answer these questions--

    1) Have I recently purchased a $250-600.00 toy to play games on my $2,000.00 flat screen, hi-def wall covering portal to non-verbal communication?

    2) Have I recently considered adding more memory to my upgraded and overloaded next gen computer system so that I can store more music and video without interfering with my Warcraft patch?

    If the answer to either of those questions is yes, then make the Spock sign, hitch up your shorts, and speak in UNIX, the offical language of the nerdry.

    The disinterest in one toy does not mean you've grown up--your toys just need to cost more and do more. The Terminatrix 2000 SUX will be out in '09. It's a telephone, wi-fi, game module that plays mp3's , Itunes, video, audio, stereo, mono and quad while its soft, lifelike lips caress your nether regions and its extended handle cleans the toilet, sink, and kitchen. All this from the palm of your hand (which will be replaced by the '10 upgrade). Plus it also tastes like chicken. You'll never need another device in your life.

    By Anonymous Big Daddy, at 5:01 PM  

  • YOU'RE too old!! What would that make ME?!? I think the Aerosmith song you're trying to recall is Big Ten-Inch Record. (Yeah, I know ... Dream On.)

    Your story about grabbing new ringtones right after a cell phone purchase (Notorious R.I.P?) reminds me of ME with cars. Soon as I had a new (used) car, I had to run out and buy shiny new wheels for it.

    Now that this tired old butt drives a Camry, I'm just pleased if it gets me to Walmart and back.

    By Anonymous The Sarcasticynic, at 5:19 PM  

  • Eye of the tiger????? Lordy! I can picture people trying not to laugh when the phone rang. :)

    By Anonymous John Neill, at 5:32 PM  

  • You missed the middle step. You know, the one where you download one or two good ringtones...

    (Not that I have room to talk... my ringtone for friends is the "Mah Na Mah Na" song from Sesame Street)

    By Blogger thirdworstpoetinthegalaxy, at 6:36 PM  

  • I used to have Kelis' "Milkshake" as my ring tome until my phone rang while I was at the office. The client I was on the phone with jokingly said "I can't believe you have that as your ringtone." She proceeded to explain to me what a milkshake was. I now have the T-mobile tone as my ring tone.

    By Blogger GrizzBabe, at 7:36 PM  

  • I'm sure you have Beyonce's new hit on it, don't lie.

    I was trying to get this girl's number in a bar recently (actually she was 32 so not really a girl) and I couldn't work it. I think I called my mom up and yelled the phone number to her.

    I was like, I don't know how to work this thing! I gave her my #.

    By Blogger Matt, at 9:58 PM  

  • My ringtone is "Kiss Off" by the Violent Femmes. *giggle*

    Just wait until you eventually break down and get an iPhone. Your wife is going to love it.

    By Blogger Melissa, at 10:27 PM  

  • Sigh, I really am old. I was so happy when one of the choices on my new cellphone was the old fashion "ring ring" of my childhood. Of course, the old black ma bell I used to drag into the closet to talk to my boyfriend couldn't take pictures or send email and I'm not regretting that.

    By Blogger wordsonwater, at 11:07 PM  

  • hey! nothing wrong with eye of the tiger! Don't feel bad, I used to have the theme from the Godfather. Then my girlfriend heard it and said "you DO realize that ringtone makes you seem gay don't you?" I still kept it(at least until I got a new phone a few months ago) and told her she was loony to thing of all things that Godfather sounded 'gay'.


    By Blogger briliantdonkey, at 11:33 PM  

  • My phone ring is whatver it came with out of the factory. I'm just too cheap and lazy to mess with it.

    By Blogger Hammer, at 12:05 AM  

  • fones can do email now? well, landsakes. what will they think of next?

    By Anonymous dreaming, at 12:28 AM  

  • I think just the act of buying a new phone is a pretty good step forward already. Who knows how to really use all those features anway!

    By Blogger The Dummy, at 2:13 AM  

  • "Now when it rings, it's the stupid Cingular corporate tone. But you know what? I'm too old to care".

    And so it has begun... First you stop caring about the ring tone on your phone. Next your eating dinner at 4:30 with my great aunt Sealy, and then finally you're in a retirement home drooling on yourself and the only thing you keep saying over and over is, "Timmy". Where did it all the time go James?

    By Blogger captain corky, at 10:00 AM  

  • The white house press secretary made fun of a white forty-something reporter whose phone went off during the daily briefing there.

    She was "Riding Dirty."

    By Blogger Matt, at 10:21 AM  

  • The phone I bought for home even has programmable rings! Whatever happened to a simple "ring....ring....ring...."?

    Choices...too many friggin choices.

    By Blogger SWF41, at 10:50 AM  

  • I'm still trying to figure out how to get the theme song from "Team America, World Police" as my ringtone.

    By Blogger bc, at 11:16 AM  

  • My phone ring tones are the ones it came with. Only trouble is that when I'm out they're too quiet to hear over the traffic, & when I'm indoors it takes so long to locate the thing the caller's given up!

    By Anonymous bronchitikat, at 3:40 PM  

  • I've got a classy ringtone: Air Supply's "Here I Am, The One That You Love"

    It got a little weird when it rang this morning while I was in bed with a dude. I was all, "Oh, naw. Don't worry. It's just work."

    By Anonymous 123Valerie, at 4:49 PM  

  • I'm worried about new technology passing me by. I had to ask a friend at work the other day what the device clipped to his car's sun visor was. It was a blue tooth compatible speaker device. I know someone with a darkened tooth that they say is a dead tooth, but the blue tooth stuff was new to me!

    You're not alone with the ring tone thing, my ring tone is the James Bond theme. My coworkers complain whenever it goes off!

    By Blogger Michael C, at 10:04 PM  

  • My ringtone is the theme from The Exorcist. People old enough to remember the movie are a little creeped out, and those who aren't ask me where I downloaded it. (I didn't -- I made it myself.)

    But I'm still locked out of Generation Borg due to my Bluetooth Inhibition Field. "Old man" or not, I bet you have one of those things clipped to your ear, don't you, James?

    By Blogger mkh, at 10:29 PM  

  • Claudia, that ringer is one of my options.

    Christina, I call that "classic" music ( ha ha ;), but I love both tunes. And I could see the former being a great ringtone.

    Mist1, my mom has that chicken ringer. That thing is annoying. I have to confess - speaking of growing up - I nearly caved yesterday and downloaded "Hustlin'" by Rick Ross. But I came to my senses, realizing I'm just not that cool (anymore).

    Tiggerlane, that's a good idea - different ringers for different folks. I like that. You'll know who's calling without even having to look at your caller ID. And Gold Digger? Love that as a ring tone.

    By Blogger James Burnett, at 11:02 PM  

  • Winter, I am one of them. Scary. I have four gray hairs too. Really, I counted 'em.

    BD, I knew you'd rain on my parade. I've stopped wearing socks with my sandals. And I'll be weened off the suspenders pretty soon too. Honestly though, my answer to both questions is no. Sorry, no Spock sign tonight. If they ever do make that Termanix 2000 Sux though, I'll buy one.

    Ha, Sarc! You're not old. You're mature. And I like Camry's too. I get the analogy. I'm ashamed to admit that these days I drive a station-wagonish sort of car. But in all fairness it calls itself an SUV and looks pretty sexy and rugged with a bike rack attached.

    John Neil, I admit people laughed their behinds off when my phone rang with that tune on it. I could never tell if they were laughing with me or at me. So I stopped using that ringer.

    By Blogger James Burnett, at 11:09 PM  

  • ThirdWorst, noooooo! A Sesame Street ringer? That's only allowed if you have kids under age 5. But you're forgiven. If I can do Eye of the Tiger, you can get a mulligan for a Sesame Street ringer.

    Grizzbabe, that's hilarious! You had "Milkshake," as a ringer, and a client heard it? I would've fallen out of my chair to hear that one. Just curious: what did you think Kelis was singing about? Sugary sweet dairy drinks? Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Just teasing.

    Matt, I'm not dropping anything like anything's hot. No Beyonce. I am a survivor though. BTW, never involve your mother in your conquests. It's a deal breaker, unless, of course, your target didn't know who you were shouting her number out to.

    Melissa, I like "Kiss Off" as a ring tone. Too bad the callers can't hear it before you answer. Then they might get the hint you don't wanna be bothered. And you're right. I saw the iPhone demonstration, and I'm in love. Can't wait to get mine. For now, I'll stick w/my "old-fashioned" smart phone.

    By Blogger James Burnett, at 11:15 PM  

  • WOW, those "classic" phones were great. They couldn't gather evidence on us.

    Briliant, thanks for the vote of confidence for Eye of the Tiger. I liked that Godfather ringtone. Had that one too, though I never used it much. I didn't think I had the right air about me to pull it off. I agree with you though - your girlfriend was looney for that assessment.

    Hammer, yours is the safest and probably smartest ring tone policy.

    Dreaming, I'm waiting for them to cut my steak into tiny choke-proof pieces for me.

    By Blogger James Burnett, at 11:19 PM  

  • Dummy, by the time I figure out all the features on mine it'll be obsolete.

    Captain, tell Aunt Sealy I'll be over at 4. And BTW, Timmy!

    Matt, is that a true story? If so it's one of the funniest I've heard in a while. She had to be pretty embarrassed. It is a catchy tune, but...

    SWF41, I feel ya. My home phone has the Moonlight Sonata as a ringer option.

    By Blogger James Burnett, at 11:23 PM  

  • BC, if you figure that one out let me know. That would be a funny one. I might have to break my new rule for it.

    Bronchitikat, for noisy areas I just keep my phone on the vibrate setting and make sure it's in a pocket. I figure if I can't hear it I'll definitely feel it ringing.

    123Valerie, you know the dude thought you planned the ringer and the timing. Tsk, tsk, very clever.

    M C, at my last job I had the bad habit of leaving my ringer on and walking away from my desk for 20 minutes at a time. And inevitably it would go off as soon as I walked away. I could always tell, 'cause when I returned I was met with glares. It took me a couple of months, but I broke that habit.

    MKH, you know how to use that soundboard creation gizmo on the phones? I still can't work that thing. Would love to create my own ring. That would be a good compromise. And yes, you pegged me right on the Borg technology...sort of. I lost my Bluetooth earpiece a few months ago. I think it was under one of the seats of a car I traded in. But before that I never left home without it.

    By Blogger James Burnett, at 11:29 PM  

  • Soundboard creation tool? Nah, I chop up MP3s with some mixing tools on my laptop and download them to the phone. One of my favorites is th opening bass line from Herbie Hancock's Chameleon, which may be the funkiest line every committed to wax. Unfortunately, it doesn't project very well, so I'm sticking with Tubular Bells for now.

    I should give you one of my (useless to me) BT implants. You young whippersnappers need those kinds of things.

    By Blogger mkh, at 12:33 AM  

  • I have the old fashioned drrrrinnnng! as Claudia mentions in the first comment. I love it! Give it a try!

    By Blogger Manola Blablablanik, at 2:30 AM  

  • Look at the bright side! At least you're too old to care and not too stupid to figure out how to reprogram it.

    By Blogger QofD, at 8:05 AM  

  • Hey...I want a ringtone for The Exorcist!

    Seriously envious over here.

    By Blogger SWF41, at 9:14 AM  

  • Oh, and I actually have Eye of the Tiger on my mp3 player. Gets me worked up at the gym - no shame there!

    See you at the roll call today!

    By Blogger The Dummy, at 10:32 AM  

  • Cell phones are nothing mor than painful reminders of the fact that no one calls me...

    I hate cell phones. ;)


    By Blogger Steven Novak, at 11:49 AM  

  • Hey SWF41, stop by my site and send me e-mail. I'll hook you up with the head-spinning ringtone!

    By Blogger mkh, at 6:56 PM  

  • James, I thought Kelis was singing about her general sex appeal. I had no idea she was talking about that. Okay, I'm a little naive.

    By Blogger GrizzBabe, at 7:53 PM  

  • OK, Grizz, that's an acceptable excuse ;)

    By Blogger James Burnett, at 12:45 AM  

  • well, my phone rings vanilla ice ice baby!
    homer simpson??? blahhhhhh!

    By Blogger acaligurl, at 11:11 PM  

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