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Burnett's Urban Etiquette

Friday, February 23, 2007

Ask James Anything Friday

I hope I'm not the only one who believes in "Better late than never," 'cause even though i's evening, it is still Friday, and this is our second installment of ask me whatever the heck you want...ANYTHING!

If you read the previous post, I'm still co-hosting visiting in-laws and will be till Saturday evening.

Please, give me your questions, and I'll start answering them tomorrow (maybe tonight when everyone falls asleep), and I'll answer through Monday morning, when we start this game over again.


  • Are there some things that are off limits to journalists, like a code of ethics that extends beyond the legal culpability of slander and defamation?

    By Blogger Hammer, at 7:50 PM  

  • Speaking of defamation, I just ate some cheese fries, and I've been in the bathroom for HOURS!

    By Blogger Rune, at 8:08 PM  

  • Why do some men feel the need to bump shoulders with me when we're in a room that is uncrowded or if I'm just standing there and they could easily walk by w/o any contact whatsoever?

    Or when walking down the street? My feeling is that I give a little and you give a little but sometimes a guy doesn't want to get out of the way and really wants to bump shoulders... or you get that thing where your hands knock into each other.

    WTF? I hate that sh1t.

    By Blogger Matt, at 8:11 PM  

  • Yeah, I've got a question. What were the results of the "Unscientific Experiment" of January 19th??

    By Anonymous The Sarcasticynic, at 8:21 PM  

  • Question: Your in-laws have been put out of their vacation rental and the property manager has called the Sheriff's office.


    a) Try to smooth the situation by playing Kofi Annan to two parties who resemble Pakistan and India.

    b) Find your in-laws a hotel and report the property manager to the Better Business Bureau.

    c) Break out the booze and go "coked up rock star in a hotel" on the place.

    d) Run like hell until you reach Maryland.

    ...just wondering.

    By Blogger Queen of Dysfunction, at 10:35 PM  

  • This comment has been removed by the author.

    By Blogger Dayngr, at 1:18 AM  

  • Here's a question... say there was this organization that was small enough not to have a publicist, marketing team or PR person but it was huge on how it impacted others for good. How could this organization get its press releases into mainstream media outlets and actually read? Maybe even picked up on?! (Assumiing of course, they have tried PR Newswire and the like)

    By Blogger Dayngr, at 1:19 AM  

  • OK< I got a question: How does Levis expect to make jeans that fit black men and at the same time fit no-ass crackers? I don't understand that. Is there a special "black cut" jean that I don't know about? It's a mystery.

    By Anonymous og, at 8:17 AM  

  • Hammer that's a good question. I don't know that I have an answer off the top of my head. Let me think about that one and I'll answer later today.

    Rune, bad image. "Defamation" of cheese fries. But wait. That wasn't a question.

    Matt, they just want to touch you 'cause you're pretty.

    Sarc, the survey was for a story project I'm working on about how people on different sides of the political spectrum see one another. So there are no results as in win/lose or right/wrong. I'll elaborate more, just not in this answer.

    Queen, you're funny. But (hey quit reading over my shoulder in-law!) I went with (B).

    Dayngr, you first decide what section your type of news is most likely to run in. Then you call the local paper and ask for the editor of that section, and if you get 'em tell 'em what you have and ask which of their staffers they recommend you send your release to. If you don't get 'em leave the detailed voicemail. Or you can email me the details at and I'll email you back with the contact info for the appropriate editor ;-)

    Og, you must die. You have discovered the jeans secret. Kidding. I don't know. I will tell you a lot of denim makers are putting out jeans that are bagger and wider in certain areas 'cause it's a fashion statement for slimmer kids. So it could be that you inadvertently stumbled onto cool pants. Look at it this way: Now you have jeans that fit and you're a happnin' dude!

    By Blogger James Burnett, at 8:56 AM  

  • While it can be richly satisfying to open a can of gourmet-quality verbal whoop-ass on idiots (defined here as "people who don't agree with me"), the market seems to be filled with people who prefer to pop a can of cheap Sam's Club imitation whoop-ass, simply parroting the grade-school name-calling and intellectually bankrupt "reasoning" they hear on talk radio.

    While this undoubtedly provides a false sense of community to the one-finger-forehead crowd, does the channeling of mob anger into juvenile ranting offset the damage done to rational discussion and debate?

    By Blogger mkh, at 9:44 AM  

  • You have the right idea, James. As soon as I take care of my blood pressure, I'll be there.

    By Blogger Matt, at 10:50 AM  

  • Do you think the trend in technology of having machines do everything for us is a good thing, or a bad thing? ex - cars that can parallel park themselves, turn on the lights for you when it gets dark, etc.

    By Blogger fiwa, at 11:58 AM  

  • MKH, too deep. Hmmm. I don't think the channeled rants have too much negative impact on rational debate. If the channeled rants had that much influence, then the outcome of the recent midterm elections would have been different.

    Matt, I'm just teasin'. I have a weird paranoia similar to that one sometimes. Those guys ain't staring at you. You're both just being guys: neither of you wants to budge much 'cause you think you're being a punk if you do.

    Fiwa, while I'm a hypocrite 'cause I love my Palm Treo and my Bluetooth and my laptop, I think this stuff is just ushering in the age of the Matrix.

    By Blogger James Burnett, at 1:47 PM  

  • I love these installments.

    James, can you explain the mystery behind writer's block? Because I have a brick wall in front of me right now! And I'm on deadline, procrastinating, obviously!

    By Blogger Manola Blablablanik, at 1:59 PM  

  • Manola, I wish I knew. I think it's comparable to the whole addage of wanting something really badly - so badly in fact that you just can't have it. It's only after you stop wanting that thing that you actually get it.

    Just like when you feel a cold coming on but can't do anything to stop it, I find myself getting writer's block after I've been trying too hard to make something read clever.

    When I stop, distance myself from it for a few hours, read someone else's writing and maybe watch a cartoon or two, then it usually starts clicking for me. And the block fades.

    By Blogger James Burnett, at 2:30 PM  

  • I missed fridays ask ya.
    I'm out of town.

    I talked to someone who owns rental property. HE SAID that if they were in there, it would have taken a court order to get them out.. and that wouldn't even had worked because no one pays attention to them. They could stay three years, he said.

    What do the laws in Florida say about that???

    By Blogger Pamela, at 11:12 PM  

  • I think I tried to ask this before and blogger ate it--if I did and you answered I could not find it--

    So be a sweetie and bear with me if I did *smiling*

    What do you consider the difference between 'urban etiquette' and 'rural etiquette'? Or is it just a catchy title?

    By Blogger Turnbaby, at 7:14 AM  

  • Here's one, where in Fla. can one move and not be faced with the annual destruction that is hurricanes (or the Bush twins?).

    By Blogger dennis, at 2:15 PM  

  • Oh I'm glad you're taking questions again, cuz I got this one I just can't figure out - why is my exhusband such a fistpuppet?

    By Blogger Lee, at 5:35 PM  

  • Pamela, good question. I think my brother-in-law would have tried to stay. But for the sake of peace of mind - and not knowing what the ruthless property manager would try next after sending deputies by - he and my mother-in-law opted to find a new place first and fight back later. They had to stay here an extra day after their flight back to Wisconsin got canceled yesterday 'cause of blizzard conditions up there. But they got home a couple of hours ago. And knowing them the way I do I expect they'll call their attorney(s) and stick it to the property manager ASAP.

    Turnbaby, it's just a catchy title that matches where I live. Greater Miami, while rural on the outskirts, is pretty urban. Trust me, if I lived in a largely rural area, or "country" as my North Carolina-born 'n raised mother says, this blog would be called Burnett's Rural Etiquette. Either way it would still be known as Burnettiquette for short.

    Dennis, very funny. I don't know if any place in Florida is hurricane free. Though in my year-and-a-half here I haven't heard about much hurricane damage in northern Florida on the Georgia border. As for the Bush twins you never really see any mention of 'em down here. I guess they travel in other zip codes 'cause I haven't heard a peep about them since I've lived here.

    Lee, that is one of the great mysteries of mankind - why some folks are "fistpuppets" and some are not. But I like you, so I'll say your ex-hubby is a fistpuppet because he's your ex ;-)

    By Blogger James Burnett, at 6:37 PM  

  • It is as I suspected. Thank you James.

    By Blogger Lee, at 12:16 PM  

  • PS - You rock!

    By Blogger Dayngr, at 7:12 PM  

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