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Burnett's Urban Etiquette

Sunday, August 19, 2007

Barnyard religion

Hmmm. Not sure how to make this believable, since the picture below me is kind of fuzzy. Nevertheless, can you guess what you're looking at? I mean other than the obvious - the back of a purple shirt-wearing human, a folding chair with a white piece of paper and a digital camera on it, a door slightly ajar, and a little black and white thing's face in a plate.

Give up? The little black and white thing is a pig. That's right, bacon, small bacon, but very real bacon, captured on my cell phone - thus the poor picture quality.

Anyway, Mrs. B and I decided to try to stave off heathendom this morning and went to church. We sit about 3/4 of the way back 'cause its right by the exit. Well, about halfway through the service we hear a commotion outside the sanctuary.

Later, as Mrs. B returned from one of the 278 bathroom breaks-per-day she's taken since becoming pregnant, she tells me "There's a pig out there." Naturally, I want to scold her and remind her that Homer Simpson would say people with voracious appetites need Jebus too.

But she quickly explains that she's not insulting large or hungry humans. She means there really is a pig in the hallway. Apparently it wandered into the parking lot and approached the open doors.

So the minister's wife and another woman ushered the pig inside, brought it something to eat and gave it a room to chill in while they tried to figure out what to do about it. On my own bathroom break a short time later I snapped the photo.

Why was a pig at church? That answer is about as readily available as why the chicken crossed the road or why that crossing was anyone's business.

There must be some sort of religious metaphor or simile here in church doors always being open and to everyone. I'm just too sober to figure it out.

I'd say "only in Miami," but in order for that cliche to work in this case, a gator would have had to come to church this morning.



  • of course a pig would go to a can't expect him/her to go to a synagogue

    By Anonymous insomniac, at 11:07 PM  

  • I've seen cats and dogs at church. oh and a few winged creatures (birds... not angels, didn't mean to get your journalistic heart pumping)
    .... BUT NEVER A PIG

    By Blogger Pamela, at 1:09 AM  

  • Apparently animals where they don't really belong is a running theme here. I posted on Saturday and again tonight about my son-in-law's prowess in ridding the neighborhood of a skunk and two raccoons! Trash-eating messy little so-and-so's they are. Actually, the one he caught tonight is no little thing - he's a big 'un!!!

    By Blogger Jeni, at 1:45 AM  

  • I hope those aren't communion wafers ;)

    By Blogger Hammer, at 4:35 AM  

  • Saw your label line ('pigs in church') & thought about certain Republicans. Ok, I'll own up to being a cynic at times.

    Also thought that the pig went to church cos it wouldn't have been welcome at the local Mosque. Or don't you have them in Miami?

    By Anonymous bronchitikat, at 7:22 AM  

  • How cute! The most exciting thing that ever happened when I went to church was happy hour following the workout class (Catholic mass = a lot of kneeling, wine and crackers).

    By Blogger Balou, at 8:08 AM  

  • Well, obviously he was there to ham it up and to hog all the attention. Who'd squeal on him? Not me - you can bank on that.

    By Blogger The Sarcasticynic, at 11:39 AM  

  • Good call on providing photographic evidence.

    I have to share with you the Calabrian (not sure if it's Italian generally or not) equivalent of why did the chicken cross the road;

    Why did the dog go into the church?

    Because the door was open.

    I imagine it works the same for a pig.

    By Blogger sognatrice, at 11:44 AM  

  • It's Babe in Miami! James, didn't you just want to take it home?? It looks pretty cute.

    By Blogger fiwa, at 12:48 PM  

  • Pig was there hoping to get into Hog Heaven.

    By Blogger Kevin, at 2:48 PM  

  • There are a lot of pigs that go to my church. OH ... you're still talking about a REAL pig. Sorry. ;-)

    By Blogger Jay, at 3:48 PM  

  • Pigs aren't cute until they are bacon. BACON is cute!


    By Blogger briliantdonkey, at 7:56 PM  

  • It's a pink shirt

    By Blogger radialrelish, at 2:36 PM  

  • That's awesome. If nothing else, you have a great story to tell. Especially if you decide to throw in a wayward Jimmy Dean finding Jebus to boot.

    By Blogger Queen of Dysfunction, at 3:51 PM  

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