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Burnett's Urban Etiquette

Saturday, August 12, 2006

Head start

It's a lazy Saturday afternoon folks, and I only have two gripes today: the usual bad drivers, and the wave of too-chunky people in thongs at the beach this morning.

So use this time to try to get in some nominations for the Weekly Behavior Awards in before tomorrow night.

If you don't know this blog, the WBAs are given out every Sunday night (occasionally Monday morning). I try on Friday and Saturday afternoons to call for nominations for Biggest Bum or Best Behavior.

If over the past week or so you've observed remarkably good, kind, civil, behavior in public then nominate that person for the Best Behavior award. If in that same period you've observed inconsiderate, mean, uncivil, or downright triflin' behavior in public then nominate that person for Biggest Bum.

We'll post the nominations for all to read Sunday night.


  • I'm a big fat cracker, and I love to swim. If you should find me on a beach, You'll immediately know me, I'll be the guy wearing black swim trunks and a black long sleeved t-shirt, with spf 900 lotion on my fishbelly white legs. I may be fat and hideous, but I DON'T INFLICT IT ON OTHER PEOPLE.

    By Anonymous og, at 9:41 PM  

  • Ha! No worries, Og. I'm hardly svelte. But if you spy me at the beach I'll be the other guy in big shorts and a t-shirt - maybe not a long-sleeved T, but a shirt nonetheless. Can't do the sunscreen though. I'm allergic to it.

    By Blogger James Burnett, at 11:07 PM  

  • My skin is so white if I go out in the sun I burst into flames liek a vampire without some kind of protection.

    By Anonymous og, at 8:19 AM  

  • James--what the HELL would you do with sunscreen anyway???


    By Blogger Crashtest Comic, at 8:57 AM  

  • Very funny CT. To be fair, I would have asked that same question a few years ago.

    I mean, we can all get darker, right? It's simple science. No matter what your skin tone, you spend enough time in the sun you can get darker.

    Well, I never sweated that, 'cause I figured what's the worse that could happen? I get a little darker from lots of sun.

    And then I learned my lesson. My wife and I went to Aruba for our honeymoon last summer. And she kept telling me to use sunscreen. I reminded her of my allergy, but I also said I didn't need 'cause my "dark" skin could absorb the rays naturally.

    Boy, did I feel stupid just one day into that trip when I started to sunburn. Funny thing is because I had never burned I didn't know that's what was happening to my skin. I thought I had accidentally brushed up against something with sunscreen on it. Wasn't until the end of the week that I realized I'd been burned all over.

    Imagine how dumb I felt a couple weeks later explaining to friends and other curious folks why my skin was peeling.

    Who woulda thunk it was possible?

    Then again the bio-chemical sciences were never my strong point.

    By Blogger James Burnett, at 9:23 AM  

  • And Og, I'm having a hard time picturing you as a vampire.

    By Blogger James Burnett, at 9:24 AM  

  • I unintentionally inflicted my happy self to others on the beach during our cruise. I tried to hold my stomach in, but was hopeless. I saw my pictures. I almost turned to stone. I'm back on South Beach again. gah

    I have a nomination for good behavior. Do friends I know personally but whose behavior is actually cyber in this instance count?
    If so, I nominate my friend Skoop who consistently gives others the benefit of the doubt, who is extraordinarily logical and who realizes that our discussions about faith aren't cause for hammering one another. Even when I go off the handle.She is a very thoughtful and considerate peep.

    I've come to embrace the sunless tanning goop. When I remember.

    By Anonymous Frothmistress, at 2:04 PM  

  • I like to see fat people in thongs. It makes me feel better about my own "fluffy" ass. LOL

    By Blogger Angie, at 9:57 AM  

  • I have an entry for your next Bad Behavior Award and it goes to an entire hospital. On the good side it is not in Miami, on the bad side my 100 year old Grandmother is in it following a stroke. In fairness to the nursing staff, they are extremely understaffed and overworked. They do not hire nurses aides, but use RN instead as they had to keep a job when cuts were made - they are angry.
    I am not sure just who should get the award, which is why I have nominated the hospital for having such a lack of care for it's patients. If you do not have family that can be there 24/7 your family member does not get a bath, and in my Grandmothers case, they don't even wash off her face after feeding her. As a result, when I get there she has dried food around her mouth and on her chin. To add insult to injury they have thrown away her toothbrush leaving her to rely on little foam top sticks that are wet, but do not remove food between the teeths. You also have to go in search of a washcloth. On her second day in the hospital two nurses (?) came in to give her a suppository and change her diaper. This woman had swelling on her brain and had never had a diaper on. Up until the stroke she was capable of taking care of herself while I was at work, so this situation was confusing and when the nurses started jerking her around like a sack of potatoes she became very aggitated and uncooperative. I kept trying to soothe her and explain to the nurses that she was not used to having a diaper and was a very proud woman. All they would say was " We're used to it" in a rather condescending and almost hateful manner. No tenderness or kindness shown whatsoever. I finally told them, in not a very kind of voice that she was not used to it and it might be a good idea to treat her with respect. They have avoided me since then and she has been moved to the rehab ward. The other incident that caused me to nominate them happened to the 89 year old uncle of a friend. Her mother had been sitting with him and left at about 10:30PM. She received a call about 12:30 AM saying that he had fallen, he was ok, but they needed her permission to do a CAT scan. As it happened, a nurse had put this man, who has congestive heart problems and is bedridden with a feeding tube in his stomach in a wheel chair. Did not restrain him, nor did she lock the wheels. Somehow, and either no one knows, or is saying, he managed to get to a stairwell and tumble - wheel chair and all- down a flight of stairs. End result was 16 stitches across his forhead and is now in intensive care. We are hoping that my Grandmother will get moved this week, either to home, which will be with hospice, or to a nursing home until they can see if more physical therapy will help her be able to eat better and be able to handle at home. But I do think that the Hazard KY hospital deserves some kind of award, and not a good one. These incidents are not one of a kind. Please give it consideration. Thanks and I love your blog - read it all the time. Laura

    By Anonymous llh, at 8:53 AM  

  • Another nominee for the Bad Behavior Award goes to the "gentleman?" who sat in his Cadillac Escalade and the back entrance of our store today and played his radio loud enough to drown our conversation as well as the conversations of anyone within a five mile radius. He changed the station approximately every 30-45 seconds from rock to hip-hop to country to heavy metal. On behalf of all of us who were outside trying to finish our lunches or breaks with a few minutes of peace and quiet I say to him, Thanks a bunch you jackass. It is my guess that if you have a curly mullet "do" and a giant expensive gas-guzzling caddy man-van you have earned the right to subject everyone to your bad choices of music, especially if they can't say anything to you for fear of being complained about to your boss for showing poor customer service skills. After all, his wife WAS in the salon. Thanks Mr. Burnett. As usual your columns and blogg are great.


    By Anonymous llh, at 10:20 PM  

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