Save the Flav

So I finally got a chance to catch up on my Flavor of Love this evening, 'cause VH-1 aired a marathon of every episode to date this season.

And I walked away from the marathon with three feelings. No, make that four:

1. First, I felt a combination of guilt, sadness, horror, and curiosity, sort of the way you feel when you're driving past a bad car wreck or when you see a homeless person dancing and talking to himself on the side of the road.
2. Second, I felt regret for spending so much time watching this show, time that I'll wish I had back when I'm on my deathbed one day.
3. Third, I wondered if there are enough strippers, ex-strippers, and Internet "models" left out there to cast a third season of the show, 'cause no doubt whoever Flav picks this time around will do him just like Hoops, the winner of season one: "date" him for a few seconds and then dump him.
4. Finally, I wondered what in the world possessed Flav to keep Somethin' in the house for several episodes after she bent a biscuit on his living room floor. Maybe it's just me, but once you defecate in my house and a toilet bowl is not involved in the process you've pretty much eliminated any possibility of future romance.