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Burnett's Urban Etiquette

Saturday, February 24, 2007

Live from the Burnettiquette Hall of Justice

See what hanging out with family will do to ya? Normally I don't even like throwing water balloons, unless it's at hippies and litterbugs. But somehow this morning I found myself a few miles from Burnettiquette World Headquarters at a gun range, scratching my head and popping off a (very, very legal) small arms arsenal at little paper guys with targets on their chests.

Me and the .38 revolver.

Me, Osama, and the Colt .357. Sorry, that was the extent of our anti-terror budget. But it's better than the slingshot I started with.

Next week, I'm going after Bambi. Just kidding. I don't eat cute animals.

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  • Left-handed gangsta.

    Though I grew up in Vermont, a state that requires no handgun permit and actually allows people to carry their guns CONCEALED, I'm not one for guns.

    Last year, I shot "out back" with my brother-in-law and was embarassed by my 11 year-old sister, who hit the target every time w/ the handgun and rifle.

    Not that that affects my ego.

    By Blogger Matt, at 3:40 PM  

  • Cool. I'm a gun guy and am pleased to see folks participating in the fine sport of target shooting.

    Many of us in Texas also have Florida concealed handgun permits because it allows us to carry in 17 more states than our own permit.

    By Blogger Hammer, at 4:26 PM  

  • Cute animals are the tastiest.

    By Anonymous og, at 5:22 PM  

  • When I was 12 I went to a hunting and fishing camp (it was the only one offered in my school in Vermont) and I shot a bullseye with a muzzle loader. I can't even believe I held a gun at all! At least a got a sweet bright orange cap out of it!

    By Blogger Erica AP, at 7:00 PM  

  • James, I find these pictures of you with a gun to be:

    A) Extremely attractive
    B) Terrifying
    C) Jack Bauerish

    pick one or more of the above.

    By Blogger Stewart Sternberg, at 9:46 PM  

  • I was just going to say -- sexy--, but I know that is politically incorrect. (mostly because I'm old enough to be your mom. But .. hey.. I'm not dead yet.)

    By Blogger Pamela, at 11:08 PM  

  • Ooooooh!

    By Blogger Manola Blablablanik, at 12:34 AM  

  • Oooooohhh... guns. My inner redneck is making peeps. I'm so jealous!

    By Blogger Queen of Dysfunction, at 11:49 AM  

  • If you're gonna butch up by discharging firearms(as the bin Ladin target suggests), try the .45 desert eagle or a .44 mag. At least something in the rapid fire nine milli variety such as Ruger or Calico.

    The .38 is what my mother shoots.

    By Anonymous Big Daddy, at 2:24 PM  

  • Cool.

    And, you're a lefty? (Someday we're gonna take over the world you know.)

    By Anonymous Freddie, at 3:38 PM  

  • The only thing I want to know is, why aren't there any holes in Osama? You're either a terrorist enabler, or the world's worst shot...

    By Blogger Rune, at 5:24 PM  

  • Look closer rune he shot osama's beard off.

    By Blogger Hammer, at 5:30 PM  

  • How bout dem ugly ones? You eat the ugly ones?

    By Blogger Lee, at 5:32 PM  

  • You're all nuts. But that's OK. So am I.

    Matt, don't feel bad. My mother's a better shot than me.

    Hammer, you guys in Texas may be the only ones with more guns than Floridians.

    Og, I agree. Something about the cute ones. Savory.

    Erica, you had the Elmer Fudd hat? Ha ha ha ha ha!

    Stewart, I'll take A and C.

    Pamela, you're gonna make me all blushy.

    Manola, you too!

    Queen, it was fun. We had two .40 caliber Glocks and a .44 Smith & Wesson also. I think those surprised me the most in terms of the kick.

    BD, always the hater. No butchin' up necessary here. Most folks here probably got the Osama target for what it was...funny. Sorry we don't have Big Daddy bucks, or else we might have had a Desert Eagle handy. And if we had, I'd surely have given it a pun intended. See my response to QoFD on the weapons we had with us. And my mom shoots a .38 too. In fact she keeps one on hand at all times, thanks to her handy dandy concealed carry permit. Not sure how her firing a .38 diminishes the fun I had.

    By Blogger James Burnett, at 6:23 PM  

  • Freddie, I agree, we lefties will rule the world eventually. I think sooner rather than later.

    Rune, like Hammer said, I killed Osama's beard. But I don't think I got him in the dome. Just for kicks and giggles I put that target up right before we packed up and left. Six shots only. Not making excuses, but I'm no pro. And I think I had the target a little further away than I should have.

    Lee, I'll eat ugly animals too, as long as they're more meat than fat.

    By Blogger James Burnett, at 6:27 PM  

  • Nice time you had. Ain't it fun? Love blasting away with my buddys muzzle loader. Try that some time.

    By Blogger Fathairybastard, at 10:33 PM  

  • I only eat cute animals. Cute is relative. To me, chickens are not cute. Cows are cute. Pigs are not cute. Ostriches are cute.

    By Blogger mist1, at 11:23 PM  

  • Nothing says "Urban Etiquette, or ELSE" like a handgun named after a snake!

    By Anonymous The Sarcasticynic, at 7:19 AM  

  • Note to self: Never fuck with James.

    By Blogger captain corky, at 9:10 AM  

  • Cool post. I've always considered Miami shooting ranges a sort of local attraction.

    What shooting range are you at?

    By Anonymous Gus Moore, at 10:38 AM  

  • Once upon a time my brother was testing out his new (legal) .9mm Taurus.

    It was snowing out and, no matter how hard he tried, he kept missing his target.

    So I picked up a snowball (from the same distance) and threw it, hitting the target in the bulls-eye.

    It's not much of a story now, but it was funny at the time.

    By Blogger thirdworstpoetinthegalaxy, at 12:23 PM  

  • Where's the bullet hole in Osama's forehead? Damn, James. Fire that thing!

    By Blogger Christina_the_wench, at 12:38 PM  

  • JB,

    Just for clarification---
    I was not hating you (or hating on you); I was breaking your balls. These are two completely different types of teasing that people often mistake for the other in today's world of personal uber-sensitivity.

    Manhood swipes involving the size of gun and selected target are clearly in the less serious and more fun loving ball-breaking category. In my opinion, hating is done with the intention of ill will toward the intented recipient; my comments were only intended to harass, not injure.

    So go on out and bust some man caps witcha little Gang That Couldn't Shoot Scraight .38!!

    By Anonymous Big Daddy, at 2:12 PM  

  • FatHairy, it was indeed a nice time. Cathartic. One of these days I'll try a muzzle loader.

    Mist1, I've always thought pigs were kinda cute, not sexy, but cute. And Ostriches are definitely cute...and delicious. Nothing like a well-done Ostrich burger.

    Exactly, Sarc. I'm gonna hang the Osama target on my back gate for my too-noisy neighbors across the alley to ponder.

    Ha! Captain, you have nothing to worry about. You are an honorary member of the Burnettiquette Justice League.

    Gus, I'm drawing a blank on the name, but it's on Pembroke Rd. just west of I-95.

    ThirdWorst, that is funny. I know how your brother feels. My accuracy won't win me any contests.

    Christina, I know. Hmmm, my excuse: I hate that beard so I "aimed" at it on purpose.

    I get it BD. I was just trying to break yours too. I don't always relay that well though.

    By Blogger James Burnett, at 2:15 PM  

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  • I have a .357 too and I love a man with a big gun! (Smirk)

    By Blogger Dayngr, at 10:32 AM  

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