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Burnett's Urban Etiquette

Wednesday, May 02, 2007

One of those days

I wish I had some pearls of wisdom for y'all tonight, or even a good joke. But I'm beat. Even though I wasn't on the street today chasing down a story, it was that kind of day. Had to put the finishing touches on an article for Sunday's paper. I'll link to it Sunday morning. It's a feature on former heavyweight boxing champion Lennox Lewis, who since retiring a few years ago moved his family to Miami.

In the mean time, till I have a clear enough head to post again (tomorrow morning) here is my latest contribution to the Miami Herald's series on falling & staying in love. It ran in Sunday's paper. I just forgot to link to it then.

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  • liked the topic. It was an interesting juxtapose of a traditional, arranged marriage in the lives of two modern, educated adults.

    9:47 PM

    By Blogger Moonlink, at 9:51 PM  

  • I agree, Moonlink. They were interesting people. As I interviewed 'em they certainly squashed a few preconceived notions I had about folks in arranged marriages.

    By Blogger James Burnett, at 9:56 PM  

  • I worked with a young man (sikh? he'd never cut his hair and it was wound into some sort of turban called something else)
    who had an arranged marriage waiting for him. He was preparing to break up with his girlfriend.
    I was intrigued by the whole thing.

    By Blogger Pamela, at 12:33 AM  

  • I'm beat too. Maybe we should give each other a nice belly rub?

    Can I get mine first?


    By Blogger Lulu (Dan's cat), at 7:49 AM  

  • James, what a wonderfully written story. Well done!!!
    I love their explanation of their journey as a couple thus far. It is similar to that of my husband and I..ot the part about an arranged marriage, but of making a home, having kids, running our own business as we have on the past...and of course, an arguement is not the end of the World :)

    By Blogger Cazzie!!!, at 8:10 AM  

  • I've met a few couples who are in arranged marriages. They all seem a lot happier than some of the couples (definitely not all!) who chose their partners.

    Is that because the expectations were different or because of culture or because of sheer dumb luck?

    Interesting, whatever the answer.

    By Blogger SWF41, at 8:58 AM  

  • Hope you get some rest.

    By Blogger thirdworstpoetinthegalaxy, at 9:21 AM  

  • Pamela, I'm fascinated by the whole concept. I'm just guessing it's the type of thing that's easier to do younger, 'cause the older you get you start forming likes and dislikes in your mind for potential partners.

    Lulu, I'd trade that rub with you, but Andie, my cat, might get jealous. And when she gets jealous, she scratches.

    Cazzie, they did provide a good example. I'm approaching anniversary number two, and the more time passes the more I realize nothing we've dealt with so far amounts to the end of the world.

    SWF41, it's funny you mention that. I had another friend suggest the same, that arranged marriages seem to last longer and do better. Not sure if it's coincidence. It would make for an interesting social science study. I'd read it.

    ThirdWorst, thank you. It's Thursday morning now, and I feel energetic.

    By Blogger James Burnett, at 10:24 AM  

  • i've heard that very few arranged marriages end in divorce or any type of seperation.

    its beautiful to see lasting love.

    By Blogger Yas, at 11:03 AM  

  • Really good article. Don't you think the base culture in which respect along with a lot of obedience to parents has something to do with many arranged marriages holding power? I don't know if that is a reason there but it sure seems to me that it could play into things. That, and a "learn to adjust" to things, to each other. If more people learned to think of others toes a bit more before tromping on them might be helpful along with the last sentence about the arguments not being the end-all thing a lot of folks decide they are.

    By Blogger Jeni, at 11:38 AM  

  • Yas, are you gonna start waving a candle or a cigarette lighter and singing?

    Jeni, good question. I don't know. But that whole respect for parents thing makes sense as a factor to me. I mean, how much more obedient to your folks can you get than agreeing to marry who they tell you to?

    By Blogger James Burnett, at 11:55 AM  

  • Awww James, it happens to the best of us. Ok, well... I'm the worst of us, but no worries. We all run out of steam from time to time right?

    Love the article. If that is not a How-To on a happy marriage I don't know what is. May we all enjoy as many decades of togetherness.

    By Blogger Queen of Dysfunction, at 1:54 PM  

  • Now that we've had some sunshine, here comes the rain. (JB, does your wife put you up to these things?)

    I hope all of you here realize that the majority of arranged marriages in this world are akin to socialized slavery. The purpose of the marriage is not to create a love bond between the victims, but to amass wealth between the families. There are still arranged marriages in this culture, too. Prince William, or example, could not marry anyone who had not been pre-screened for approval by the queen. Christina Onassis is another lonely fawn in the forest of suitors who must rate well for any consideration by her handlers. Anybody ever see the movie "Arthur"? Pre-arranged marriages frequently suck.

    Most pre-fab nuptials do not involve a loving husband and doting wife who live happily together for years. Most involve lots of filial ingratitude, bickering, adultery and neglect.

    And I won't get into how no self-respecting American woman could allow herself to "compromise" her being in the manner necessary to really make an arranged marriage work. Ladies, if Oprah is your idol, it's hard for me to believe you will get married at all or remain married, let alone enter into the confines of marriage at someone else's command. The independence present in the "I am woman, hear me roar" generation doesn't jibe with "Now marry this guy we've selected for you and be a good wife to him". Alpha broads would never let their friends hear the end of it.

    By Anonymous Big Daddy, at 3:29 PM  

  • Lennox Lewis... yum! Love that guy!

    Just had to get that out. Now I'll go read.

    By Blogger katrice, at 1:55 PM  

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