Six vs. Half-dozen?

That was the question, or at least part of the what's-the-difference question I asked earlier to the woman driving the blue Monte Carlo that hit the bumper of my truck on Biscayne Blvd. downtown.

I asked because after I felt the jolt and tried to get her to pull over so we could both stop and sort things out, she pulled alongside me and and answered my accusation of "You just hit me!" with "No, no, I didn't hit you. It's OK."

Of course, I insisted it wasn't OK. But she continued to deny. After about 30 seconds of back-and-forth, she - a grandmotherly type - began speaking a little more slowly (as if that would make me understand her denials better) and explained "Listen, I didn't hit you. I bumped you, because I was doing you a favor, trying to get out of your way."

Now even if I had just fallen off the yam wagon, I don't think I could've fallen for that explanation.

I never said she totaled my truck or even damaged it. I said she hit me - her car collided with mine, and I wanted her to acknowledge that and stop so we could make sure there wasn't damage.

She didn't stop. I got her plate # just in case, but it turned out there was no damage.

Still, in case I ever lose my mind, she gave me an idea for my criminal defense.
How do these sound?

• Your honor, I didn't punch him. I caressed him with my fist!
• Stab? No, that's too strong a word. I didn't stab anyone. I poked a few people with a sharp object.
• And I would never slap those people! I just gave one-handed claps to the sides of their faces.