And you guys thought I was intense about my lawn

Overheard when I went to let my dog out early this morning:

"Hey, you shut up!"

"Wonk wonk wonk!!"

"What's that? Say it to me in English!!!"

"Wonk wonk wonk wonk!!!!"

"Oh, yeah! Well, stay off my grass! Park your car somewhere else!!!!!"

"Wonk wonk wonk wonk wonk!!!!!!"

"What! I can talk to you any way I want. I'm standing in my own driveway. I didn't plant that grass for #@$%! like you to park on it!!!!!!!"

"Wonk wonk wonk wonk wonk wonk!!!!!!!!"

"You think so? Fine, park on my grass again and I'll slash every one of your #@$%! tires, you dumb #@$#%!!!!!!!!!!"

"Yap, yap, yap, yap, yap, yap!!!!!!!!!!"

Squeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaal.

That was play by play of my neighbor three doors down, who apparently let his dog out this morning and found a strange car parked waaaaay up on his grass. When the driver of the car returned, my neighbor gave him a few choice words and dared him to pull that stunt twice. BTW, the yaps came from my neighbor's excitable Shnauzer, not either of the humans involved. And the squeal came from the tires of the driver, who apparently took my neighbor seriously by the end of that conversation and got out of Dodge in a hurry.