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Burnett's Urban Etiquette

Friday, June 02, 2006

Cowboy Code: Chapter Three

"When did we graduate eighth grade?" is what I asked one of my guys the other day when he told me about him and another friend having friction over a woman.

To be fair, at least they weren't fist-fighting and swearing at one another. But there was pouting involved.

Here's the deal. They were both at an after work mixer, that like many after work mixers stretched into the wee hours. They both met a woman who impressed them early in the evening. They both met her at the same time, because these two guys were basically side by side, hanging out together.

One guy decided to pursue her aggressively. The other guy was friendly and engaging in conversation, but not so aggressive.

She initially seemed taken with the first guy, the aggressive guy - maybe because she liked his style, maybe because he was the one who showed an interest at first. Whatever the case, as the night wore on, her attentions turned to the other guy. After a couple of hours, she was totally into the other guy and had made it pretty clear that the first guy, the aggressive guy, had lost the battle.

Here's where the code comes into play. Aggressive Guy didn't give up. He got the hints, but rather than bow out graciously, he got angry and figured the second guy, the more mild-mannered guy, was trying to undermine him. So Aggressive Guy continued to try. But the more he tried the further he pushed the woman into the arms of the other guy.

By the end of the night when both guys left the party together, Aggressive Guy was angry with with Mild-mannered Guy, accusing him of "blocking" AG from his dream woman.

MG denied the accusation and told AG that he should have just backed off and saved face once the woman did everything but write it on the wall that she was not interested.

I agree with MG. The Cowboy Code says that if you both meet her/him at the same time and you're interested in him/her, but he/she is interested in your friend, you should bow out and let them have their space. If, in that situation, you insist on pursuing him/her, despite their obvious lack of interest, then you are the "blocker."


  • I'm going to go out on a limb here, but would it be safe to assume that this is not a freak occurrence? I'll bet, if you dig, you'll find that your buddies engage in this kind of competition on tha regular and that AG has lost to MG before. And it may be that AG's game, while agressive, is extremely weak and MG's game, laid back as it may be, is as tight as convent thighs. It could be possible that is why the lady gravitated towards MG.

    Or maybe she's a psycho hosebeast who wanted to play AG off of MG in order to see AG get agitated before she gave him a shot because she didn't really like either of them and she had to do something for entertainment. People do strange things for strange reasons.

    I just hope these fellas don't act like that when they pair up to go to a strip club. AG might go home might upset.

    By Anonymous Big Daddy, at 5:15 PM  

  • I don't know BD. I know that guys are competitive with each other, even when they're the best of friends. But the Cowboy Code says guys shouldn't block each other. And whether you abide by the code or not, why try to force yourself into where you're not wanted. As for her intentions, if she is a "psycho hosebeast" as you so eloquently put it, then the strength of these guys' friendship should help them laugh the whole thing off and move on. I agree with you about the strip club though. Then again, any dude who thinks those $1 bills are buying him love or friendship is a dummy who deserves to lose his loot.

    By Blogger James Burnett, at 8:09 PM  

  • Here's another twist: Some folks, male or female, just want to be the center of attention all the time. They don't even care about the thing the other person is after.

    By Blogger Manola Blablablanik, at 11:19 AM  

  • AG is a cock-blocking hater.

    By Blogger Somebody's son, at 2:24 PM  

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