The Hater Chronicles: Chapter One

So in the prologue earlier I defined the many variations of Haters.

Since then it has been pointed out that I left out Call-You-Out Hater, usually born a twin to the Blocker Hater. Call-You-Out Hater is the member of the family who waits until you are in mixed company or any sort of crowd and then points out a weakness or low point of yours. When Call-You-Out Hater sees you successfully holding court with beautiful women at a cocktail party, he will approach, smile as big as everyone else, slap you on the back and ask loudly how you can afford to buy yourself a drink since you owe him $5. She will wait until you have the rapt attention of every handsome man within earshot and blurt out "What's that you're drinking there? Whatever it is, don't drink too much! We wouldn't want you wetting the bed tonight the way you did through your 21st birthday!"

So moving on. In the prologue to this posting I mentioned that I had my own encounter a couple of days ago with a classic hater and that I had to consult another buddy about how to handle it.

BTW, I encountered the Downplay Hater. I can't give you the exact story, or else I'll be an inadvertent hater myself by unnecessarily embarrassing the culprit.

Let's say that I was having a conversation with a friend who raised the subject of something good that recently happened for me, something whose longterm goodness depends on how much or how little I make of it. Hopefully that's not too cryptic for you. Now, an even-keeled friend might have started his or her contribution to the chat with something along the lines of "Congratulations again, James!" followed by a "How's it coming?" But the Downplay Hater in this case immediately expressed doubts in my handling of the good thing. He or she wasn't teasing either. So when I tried to counter the out-of-left-field attack by insisting truthfully that the good thing was working out just fine for me, the friend came back at me by essentially saying things couldn't be doing too well for me, because he or she didn't see it that way. Then promptly, with no rhyme or reason, the friend changed the subject to the weather or politics or some other random thing.

It was an interesting conversation, to say the least. I have a theory about certain breeds of Hater: I don't think they realize they do it. I think sometimes it's a subconscious thing tied their lack of confidence in themselves, or their need to feel like the Big Man on Campus, or their sense of entitlement that tells them that there's no way you can have something good in your life without them having something better in theirs. After all, they deserve it more than you, right? They were born for it.

If you're at all curious, I decided not to directly confront Downplay Hater. Instead I'm going to keep doing my thing and let the reality of my blessings and good fortune eat at them like a tumor. And if the opportunity presents itself from time to time I'll drop the subtle hint couched in humor to alleviate the tension that maybe their critiques are a little out of line.