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Burnett's Urban Etiquette

Wednesday, October 18, 2006

The Sky is Blue and Rain is Wet

If I ever write a book about stating the obvious that might be the title.

In the mean time, for obvious we need only turn to the allegation/revelation on right now that says a new tell-all book by O.J. Simpson is just weeks away from publication. The gossip tab reports that O. Juicy McStabber was paid more than $3 million for the book, tentatively titled "If I Did It," and that in it he confesses in great detail how he, with the help of an accomplice, fatally knifed Nicole Brown Simpson and Ron Goldman.

Tomorrow we will learn from the Weekly World News that the Pope has always been Catholic and Mark Foley likes 'em young.

Rest assured though that knifing your ex-spouse is definitely bad Burnettiquette.


  • Enquiring minds want to know. I hope he just ends up what he always was afraid to be: Another black guy.

    What a tard. Race? yeah, this was ALL about race. And how being able to buy a verdict has now become available to black men too. No, wait, it's about Money, I forgot. Money will ALWAYS get you a verdict.

    I'm embarrassed for all men, black and white, because of this guy's antics.

    By Anonymous og, at 9:05 PM  

  • Wow. What's next? A book about what a bear does in the forrest, or one that suggests Mike Tyson is a dirtbag?

    By Blogger The Sarcasticynic, at 6:47 AM  

  • Oooooohhhh... what's next? A book by Scott Peterson titled "Ya know, she don't swim so well all wrapped up in plastic"?

    By Blogger QofD, at 10:41 AM  

  • Are you sure this story isn't an early April fool's joke? The story sounds too stupid for the contents of it to be true. I mean we are alking the Enquirer here--not exactly your first choice for accurate information and your last choice for photos of actual aliens.

    By Anonymous Big Daddy, at 11:22 AM  

  • Sorry Big Daddy. My cynical side wants to agree with you. But it appears this tip is real.

    Let's not forget that back when all the OJ drama was first going down the Enquirer was out in front with the inside details of the story before any other major news organization. And their reporting on the case - analyzed after the fact by more "serious" media - was declared to be extremely accurate.

    Anyway, an update: Apparently the book, if it really does exist, is a work of "fiction," purely hypothetical, OJ describing how he would have done it "IF" he had done it, thus the title "If I Did It."

    And Og, I have to agree with you. This was about $$$. If OJ had been broke, with no dream team and just a right-out-of-law-school public defender he might have been convicted.

    Don't get me wrong. I admit I was one of those black people who smirked when the verdict was read - not 'cause I approved of the verdict, and not 'cause I thought he was innocent. No one with one eye and half a brain thought he was innocent. My smirk went hand in hand with my immediate reactions after the verdict: "Hmmm, I don't think this is what MLK meant by equal rights" and "So these days (rich) black men can buy verdicts, too?"

    By Blogger James Burnett, at 10:57 PM  

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