So I got to catch up with an old friend a couple of days ago and she shared some unfortunate news: that her relationship with a man she really cared about had fallen apart.
More importantly, the friend was disturbed that in a recent encounter with the man he behaved erratically and lashed out - not in a physical way - at her and made bizarre comments and accusations to boot.
My friend was concerned that she had never seen this side of the man before.
Here's the sticky part. I have known for some time that the man has what us lay-people might simply describe as "issues" or "problems." Someone more qualified than me might say the man has emotional problems. The truth is many folks in my old circle of friends were aware that the man had issues. So when my old friend told me months back that she had begun dating the man after another mutual friend had introduced them, I assumed that the other mutual friend had also given my friend at least the hint of a warning about the man's emotional state.
There was no warning. So now, playing Monday morning quarterback, I'm left to wonder if I should have tipped off my friend. I didn't think so then, and for the most part, I don't think so now.
I think it was a safe and fair assumption on my part that the friend who introduced the pair would have given a warning.
But I do think someone should have told my friend that her new guy was known to lose it somein bizarre ways.
I suppose I understand why the mutual friend did not offer a warning when the "love birds" were first introduced. The mutual friend probably didn't want to interfere or taint the waters.
But I think that on some level there is an obligation there. I would send a buddy into a dark alley knowing there were unchained hungry wolves at the other end. I'd tell him "There are wolves at the other end of the alley, so walk down it at your own risk!"
Of course, that's easy for me to say after the fact.