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Burnett's Urban Etiquette

Thursday, March 15, 2007

From the RV park on the Burnettiquette World Tour

What's goin' on, folks? Kidding, I'm not really at an RV park. Not that there's anything wrong with 'em.

Sorry, I don't have any pearls of wisdom to share tonight. I'm still recovering from car lag, suffered during my temporary escape from Miami a couple of days ago.

I'm just chillaxin' right now in beautiful central North Carolina, along with Burnettiquette Wife and Burnettiquette Dog and Burnettiquette Mom.

Here's an inexplicably fuzzy image of Burnettiquette Dog and me during a stroll this afternoon.

A few quick hits:

  • Deep-fried Couey, comin' right up - Justice will apparently be served in the Jessica Lunsford murder case.
  • I smell a conspiracy - Why can't Sanjaya Malakar, the kid with the flowing locks and trickling voice, be voted off of American Idol? If it was a contest to star in a Paul Mitchell commercial, he'd win hands down. But a singing contest? Tsk, tsk.
  • I saw the funniest thing driving up here the other day - a sign, when I pulled over for fuel, pointing to Astronaut High School, in Titusville, Fla. I don't know why it cracked me up, but I immediately thought of a training ground for diaper wearers and that terrible Disney flick Sky High. How do I know it's terrible? 'Cause I watched it on cable during a night of intense boredom a few months ago.
  • Haven't seen any wannabe Slim Shadies here in NC so far. I know they're around. But thank you Jebus, I haven't bumped into 'em.
  • A preview - coming up next week, an interview w/ actor-comedian-director Nick Cannon in my regular Monday Q&A column, and a profile in Tuesday's paper of a very unique cardiologist. I'll provide links.
  • Officer Friendly is a real person - Remember in elementary school, the local police department would send a patrol officer by your classroom once a year to talk about his job? I remember - back before guns in school were used by angry children to shoot cool kids, bullies, and teachers - that Ofcr. Friendly would fire a blank round from his service weapon at the ceiling. Seriously. Did they do that in anyone else's school? Anyway, one of my constant gripes is that people don't complain about in-your-face bad behavior in their neighborhoods for two reasons: they're too timid or intimidated by the perpetrators, or they don't believe calling the police will do any good. So before I left town for NC I heard and observed a disturbance (bordering on fist fight) in the street, so I called 911. In theory, the operator asked me all the right questions, but I felt like she was rude and dismissive. Ultimately, no police officer ever showed up to try to calm the situation. My instinct told me to suck it up and deal with it 'cause my call to 911 probably wasn't that important anyway. Fortunately, however, righteous indignation got the better of me. And I fired off an email to a command-level officer at my local PD, 'cause something didn't feel right about the fact that no cop ever showed up. To my pleasant surprise he took my complaint seriously, and actually forwarded it to the commander of the PD's communications division, who opened an investigation. He found the tape of my 911 call, and what do you know? Not only was my complaint legit - not that I ever had any doubts - but it turns out the 911 operator never actually sent my complaint to dispatchers. She basically listened to me...or not, hung up the phone and moved on, without actually filing a report on the incident I observed. So no officer was ever given word to check on the fight. Tsk tsk. That operator's lucky no one was hurt...that we know of. The domino effect has been the operator is being investigated, the people involved in the fight are being scrutinized by police. So if they fart too loudly it's gonna draw attention. And their landlord is being put in check for harboring rowdy tenants. So while I hate whiners who whine for the sake of hearing themselves, I strongly encourage you to speak up if you see stupidity or criminal behavior or some combination of both. And if the people who should care don't appear to, put them in check too. Again, as long as we let people slide for bad behavior or shirk their good-behavior responsibilities, the numbnuts win.

OK, I'm done. I'm gonna suck some fresh mountainish air and get some sleep. I'll post again tomorrow and, I swear, start catching up on my visits to your blogs.

Peace and hair grease till tomorrow.

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  • I'm with you on the Sanjaya thing. He must have a lot of friends and family voting for him!

    Cant's wait to read about the cardiologist. Does he have any tips for covering up two different open heart surgery scars? Don't tell me, he's probably found a way to do it without cracking the chest open. Isn't that always the way? It's like when you buy a car and the new model comes out two weeks later!

    By Blogger Michael C, at 12:19 AM  

  • I think I want an RV. Sure,now that gas prices are so high.

    I hope you are correct and that kid killer goes electric.

    911 operator was lazy.... dismiss and hire someone who wants a job.

    I miss my dog.

    By Blogger Pamela, at 2:38 AM  

  • I dunno, I realise everyone has off days but that 911 operator!

    Just hope they're never the victim of some incident & whoever phones to report gets an operator with the same cavalier attitude.

    Nice looking dawg by the way!

    By Anonymous bronchitikat, at 6:46 AM  

  • Maybe somehow the operator knew you were from Florida. By the way, James, I can't believe you were in my state and didn't shoot me an e-mail!

    By Blogger The Sarcasticynic, at 6:50 AM  

  • I can't say the name Sanjaya without wanting to call him Vagina.

    By Blogger mist1, at 10:09 AM  

  • The small print for American Idol says the producers have the right to change the outcome of the voting.

    Either they're doing that and keeping him ON the show, or they're NOT doing that and keeping him ON the show. Either way, the show's still rigged.

    I love it, but I don't bother voting anymore.

    Mel-Kisha seriously kick ass, though.

    By Blogger SWF41, at 10:16 AM  

  • Maybe Sonjaya is being kept on the show just to create controversy.

    Or maybe SO MANY people on that show suck so badly that people can't figure out which person to kick off?

    So many towns have so much trouble with 911 operators. I wonder why? Do they not allocate enough time and money to proper training? Are they so desperate for people that they just hire anyone without any screening out of people? Do the operators burn out and not get any support from their bosses?

    By Blogger Jay, at 10:46 AM  

  • James, enjoy your break!

    There is a big difference between being a whiner and keeping your neighborhood safe. That operator should be fired.

    I was a "hearing" witness to a domestic violence situation this past weekend involving my next door neighbors and I did not hesitate to call 911. (Story over at SatB.)

    I noticed that a cop came yesterday as well. He was not wearing the usual MB uniform. Perhaps he was a cop/social worker. I wonder if he was continuing the investigation?

    By Blogger Manola Blablablanik, at 12:07 PM  

  • Wow - I can't believe she never even reported it. She would be in deep doo-doo if someone was hurt... I hope you have a wonderful vacation. :)

    By Blogger Erica AP, at 12:26 PM  

  • You have a white dog?

    Reminds me of the time I passed a small African American boy with his mother while walking my black lab in the park in Baltimore some years ago.

    "An all black dog?" the five-year old says. "I like that."

    By Blogger Matt, at 12:49 PM  

  • I think I'm in love with your dog. Well, I'm off to don some diapers and make a four day trek across the U.S. to kidnap the dog... uh, I mean, I'm heading out to the grocery store.

    By Blogger Queen of Dysfunction, at 1:30 PM  

  • lol, funny label with the numbnuts. I laugh every time I see it, and with that 911 operator, she definitely deserves that label. That stuff is too serious for someone like her to decide for herself that it's not important enough to elevate.

    By Anonymous datingdummy, at 2:22 PM  

  • Dog looks like a lot of fun. He/she/it a good watch dog?

    Man, those wannabes are all over the place. You should come to Killeen and take a walk through the mall. probably take a walk through a mall anywhere. It occurs to me, my generation picked up on pop culture stuff from the soul era, the way people in my parents generation picked up on stuff from the jazz and swing eras. Language and notions of "coolness" from the Black subculture became part of American vernacular culture. So it's normal. We all take on aspects of one another's culture as time goes by. The kids latch on to what looks or sounds cool. The "melting pot" still works, I guess.

    What's different is the fact that soul singers and jazz singers didn't (so far as I can tell) use the "N" word in their art. Started with Richard Pryor in the early 70s, making it funny, taking the vernacular language from the street and making it pop culture. I remember in the 70s, in high school, naively listening to Pryor albums and thinking "why does he use that word so much if it's a bad word?" Over time, it became just another expletive, like the "F" word, that he used with such skill and humor. Now, listening to him didn't make me want to go out and use it against people in a hateful way, but it did make it a funny word, in a certain context. And you know, when I hear Chris Rock use it, Dave Chappell, or Martin Laurence, or any one of a million others, it's still funny. It still lends a level of authenticity to their "street cred", as it were, in the eyes of their fans, which I guess is why they use it. Again, I guess it's context.

    By Blogger Fathairybastard, at 2:47 PM  

  • Enjoy your visit in North Carolina. I'm in NJ on my last day of vacation and a Nor'Easter hit this morning. Fun.

    By Blogger captain corky, at 2:50 PM  

  • lol Burnett when you said fuzzy i was like "that picture isnt that fuzzy" then i clicked on it. DAMN that fuzzy. lol cute dog though. scares the crap outta me .. but cute dog.

    you know they are always hiring for 911 dispatchers out here. i've had dispatchers talk shitty to me but that one time that giant man tried to bop me one in my parking lot the dispatcher was soo nice. she was like "get away from the man!!" and i was like "O.. Okay"

    yeah.. it's friday and i feel slow. ;D

    didja ever watch that movie RV? well those kids from scottsdale... thats real. there's quite a few wanabees out here. its creepy

    By Blogger Yasamin, at 3:19 PM  

  • Deep fried Couey is nothing but a good thing in my opinion. May Jessica rest in peace (and he burn in hell).

    Sorry - I myst be PMSy. Or a Mom...

    Enjoy the Mountains!

    By Blogger Richmond, at 5:52 PM  

  • good for you re calling 911..great pic of you and your dawg..and have a great time up in NC! enjoy your vacation! *bless your heart* ;)

    (btw, i haven't heard peace and hair grease in YEARS!..makes me smile everytime i read it)

    By Blogger savannah, at 7:33 PM  

  • I'm jealous! Send me a postcard. Enjoy!

    By Blogger Dayngr, at 7:45 PM  

  • Way to go with the 911 call. Your experience definitely inspires one to act when bad behavior occurs. And kudos to your local police department for handling their business.

    Have a great vacation! Why didn't you take me with you?!?!?

    By Blogger GrizzBabe, at 8:13 PM  

  • Why, oh why, won't Sanjaya go home???? (*bawling*)

    You, Mr. Burnett, are a model citizen. I am proud. And inspired. Seriously. I'm one who has lost all faith in the police and all related departments.

    By Blogger katrice, at 10:19 PM  

  • You look refreshed and springy and so does your pup! I envy you. Right now we're covered in green pollen and feeling cruddy. Enjoy yourself.
    And dittos on all your comments.

    By Anonymous Kim, at 12:54 AM  

  • Sanjaya:

    1. This site is behind him.

    2. Howard Stern is behind him too, just for fun.

    3. Doesn't he look like Mowgli?

    By Blogger Lee, at 11:07 AM  

  • Enjoy the mountains!!

    By Blogger Claudia, at 12:56 PM  

  • Looks like you ahd a nice spot there to walk your dog, very relaxing for both of you.
    Here, the distress emergency number is 000, not 911. But, it is a amazing how many people don't know that and because they watch so much American sitcoms and flicks, they dial 911!!!
    I have 000 on my speed dial, and I have used it many times. Coming home from work late at night I have witnessed many car accidents on the Freeway, and the occasional late night drunkard trying to walk over our bridge that has East meet West of the river, there are no foot pedestrians allowed. I have always received follow up calls, which I am thankful for. I would otherwise wonder what became of the person in the car accident, and hope that the drunkard got off safe too.

    By Blogger Cazzie!!!, at 12:13 AM  

  • I'll trade you: my cat for your dog.

    By Blogger thirdworstpoetinthegalaxy, at 1:05 PM  

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