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Burnett's Urban Etiquette

Thursday, June 15, 2006

Overheard at a coffee shop this morning...

Three women discussing the etiquette of undies.

No kidding. I stopped for a cup, while walking to the subway. And decided to sit a minute and enjoy, when I caught the conversation from the table next to me.

I'm not mad at 'em or anything. I was actually fascinated, 'cause they were discussing bloomers in earnest, with looks on their faces that made it seem like the fate of the world rested on the right type of shorts being worn.

I mean, I knew women talked about what to wear and what not to wear and why. But I never realized it went to this extent.

This particular debate was on what to do when wearing white. One woman said wear a white thong, so as to avoid lines. The next disagreed and said if the fabric of the outer garment was too thin, then their cheeks would show through, so "full-bottomed" white shorts were better. The third disagreed with both and said if the fabric of the pants or skirt or dress was thick enough then perhaps going commando was the best idea.

They went on for about 10 minutes, till one said perhaps flesh-colored shorts were best, 'cause you wouldn't see lines and the color of the undies wouldn't stand out. And they all finally agreed...except one pointed out that crude dudes might stare harder at their bums if the guys were under the illusion that there were no shorts on under there.

All too complicated for me. I'm glad most of us guys don't have to think about this stuff.


  • I just stare regardless.


    By Anonymous og, at 12:54 PM  

  • The fleshtoned answer is the correct one, naturally. Women who don't understand this simple fact astound and irritate me.

    James - this was important. Those women were discussing matters of great heft.

    By Blogger Melissa, at 4:49 PM  

  • I had a saleswoman tell me, and it made sense to me, that wearing fleah color under white is the best option. White under white looks like underwear. From what I gather, undewear is a "behind the scenes" thing and it's supposed to look like it's not there. Kind of like make-up. Bring out a natural look, as if you need no assistance.

    Good lord! I know more about that than I should...

    By Anonymous ChrisA, at 12:06 AM  

  • Oh it's tough being a woman - all ways!

    The really correct version, respect to Melissa, is to wear flesh toned underpants and, with a skirt - A SLIP! In fact wearing a slip with any skirt helps it hang better, helps avoid lines & is practically a necessity with anything white!

    Hmmm, maybe a really long pair of long pants in some thin fabric under a white pair of trousers too ("pants" to you). Though you'd have to make them yourself, until the stores caught on!

    By Anonymous Bronchitikat, at 2:31 AM  

  • i told my girlfriend about this. she said flesh coloured is the right answer. she also said that her daughter, who studies dramatic arts, was told to wear light green under white pants because that didn't show through either

    By Anonymous insomniac, at 11:23 PM  

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